This is a question that I talk with people about in life. I clearly stole this from somewhere but if you know the source don’t worry about it, still a great topic to talk about
When you really love somebody, truly, all the way, when is enough is enough?
I’m an 18 year old girl and need advice. Everyone loves N. He messages loads of girls and just knows how to appear really lovely and caring. N spoke to me and flirted (I know this was wrong of me too) with me while still in a relationship with his ex. After she dumped him for being clingy he asked me out two weeks later, I was 16 at the time. We went out for a few months but I dumped him because he got way too intense too fast (saying he loved me and that I was ‘the one’ after only a month – which his ex later said he did to her as well). During my time with him he constantly spoke of what a horrible ‘bitch’ his ex was, he literally hated her.
Literally 4 days after I dumped him, he made out with this girl from his college who had apparently been going round his house every day for lunch. He admitted it to me though after I found out through another friend. They started a relationship soon after, it lasted 3 months then when it ended he again told me how horrible and awful she was. He has convinced himself that all his exes are horrible people who took advantage of his ‘kind’ nature, when in reality he is incredibly manipulative, controlling and clingy.
After dumping her, naive and lonely me went back to him and believed him when he said he always had more feelings for me. During this time, he was also talking to another girl who he decided he also had feelings for, but he quickly came back to me.
After a few months of this, I found out that he was emigrating to New Zealand with his family in just a few months but I stupidly agreed to get back into a relationship with him and make it work long distance. Right after he moved, I found out from a friend at college that he had also been messaging A – his ‘best friend’ constantly, and meeting up with her too, which I totally understand as he was moving across the world. However, this was all behind my back and he also swapped bracelets with her as a ‘friendship’ token, while she would constantly cry about him leaving. Fair enough, if they really were ‘just friends’.
A would constantly message him over facebook, every day. N would obviously flirt with her, though he claimed not to mean to, and basically every message had a wink etc and A obviously had feelings for him. I told N that I was worried and asked if he would message A less, and he promised me he would.
However, at the same time as claiming to message her less, he was demanding to know which boys I was speaking to. One of my friends, P, who I rarely messaged asked me out one day, and N found out about this and blamed me, and has used it against me ever since for ‘encouraging’ P, even though our conversations were always 100% platonic. N demanded screenshots of my messages to check that I wasn’t talking to P, but one day I sent 3 messages to P, then deleted them, but N found out with the screenshot, failing to reveal that he was still talking to A every single day and actually being very hypocritical.
At some point, something snapped in me. I was pretty normal before, but then I just felt insanely jealous of A all the time, he would flirt with her all the time and message her and hide it from me. I got controlling, I asked N to only message her ‘a few times a week’ as opposed to every single day, and he said he would but again lied, and I just felt totally uncared about and got really mad and angry at him.
He argued back, but carried on speaking to all his friends and twisted everything to make me seem like the horrible one. He told A I was basically crazy, and angry about them talking, and scared him. He made everything seem like my fault, he turned my friends against me (one of my close friends is also close friends with A), and I was constantly trying to talk to him and make the relationship work and I pushed my friends away.
Anyway, after just over a year of being in a long distance relationship, we were arguing all day every day about various things – who I was talking to, how much he was talking to A etc. Because of his controllingness I literally lost all of my male friends, while he kept messaging about 10 girls and I didn’t bat an eyelid.
I know it’s crazy, but I didn’t want to break up with him party due to the fear that he would just replace me with A and I could not let that happen. As I share a lesson with A, I always look over and see her messaging him every single lesson, and she makes every effort to make sure I can see this and the flirty nature of their messages.
We eventually broke up a few months ago, and I did something after which he rightfully continues to hold against me. About a month after breaking up, I got with two different boys in the same fortnight basically due to the pain and bitterness of him replacing me so easily in the past. He found out through his sister who I am good friends with, and clearly loves me because he was absolutely destroyed and told A and my best friend what a ‘slag’ I am.
For some reason we started talking again a few weeks later, he told me he misses me etc and he still loves me. So for the past two months, I have been messaging him every day. He told me he loved me every day. But today, before he was going to sleep, he admitted that he is ‘confused’. That he ‘fancies’ A and loves her, and apparently fell out of love with me. I just asked him questions about it calmy but he attacked me by claiming it’s my fault because of the time a year go when P asked me out and also because of the post break up events, which understandably upset him a lot.
I know I’m fickle, I don’t understand why I kept going back to him but I just need an objective view of the situation, I tried to stay as unbiased as possible. Sorry for the long post.
I am a 65 year old male. I’ve been married once in my life to the same woman for 36 years. I love her but am not in love with her. We are in a marriage devoid of any passion. Tried therapy together 20 years ago that brought back a spark that lasted for a few months then stopped. I know this is not a unique situation. In the spring of 2003 I called a chat line that women could also access. I called on a regular basis. One day I connected with a woman that was there “just to see what it was about”. I told her about my situation. Told her that I had no plans of leaving my marriage but was desperate for intimacy of any kind to feel a connection. We ended up talking for a couple of hours and I asked her for her phone number so I didn’t have to continue paying the outrageous fees that were in reading as minutes past. She was reluctant at first but then agreed. I don’t know why she did but later told me that she appreciated my honesty and was also looking for a connection no matter how impersonal it seemed. She was/is single. I called a couple of days later and we masturbared together while we spoke. It was quite erotic. We shared some very intimate thoughts and feelings but they were all very tender, respectful and nurturing. The calls became more frequent. Phone sex was not always a part of the conversations but it did occur frequently. About six months after the first time we spoke she told me that she thought she was falling in love with me. I told her that I felt the same way. At the time I was 53 and she was 47. We had seen photos of each other but still had not met. Ten months past and we decided to meet. I was seeking employment out of state and we planned our meeting around an interview I had about 2 hours from her home and 7 hours from my home. It was easy for me to come up with an excuse because of the interview. We spent 3 days together. We made love several times over those 3 glorious days.
The relationship had gone from emotional to something far more. We met again 2 weeks later when I had another interview. This time we met halfway between both of our homes. This time we spent 4 days together. This became a trend that lasted for 9 years. We even took a vacation together for a week. The distance became a problem plus I had been hired at a job that made it difficult for me to get away. It became exhausting to keep lying about where I was and the relationship cooled off slowly but phone calls and phone sex continued. The last time I saw her was 9 years ago and we are planning to get together soon. We are still in love but she recently told me that the lying to her friends and family had taken its toll and she was having second thoughts. She wants to see me desperately but does not want to open that door again. Either of us have had sex with any other person for 9 years. I am deeply in love with this beautiful woman and she is in love with me. She is torn as to what to do and feels tremendous guilt because I am married. I am a smart, talented, decent and living man. Marriage is just a word to me when it comes to our relationship.
I overflow with emotion when I think if being with her again. We are both older, still in good shape but not what we used to be. It doesn’t matter. We look at each other and do not see our flaws. Does anyone have any suggestions for us in what to do. I can’t lose her. The thought of this happening is devastating.
I’ve liked the person in question for quite a while now, and I’m positive he’s realised. He calls me by a nickname, teases me and jokes around with me, and once said “I love you” to me after I helped him with something, albeit in a (probably) platonic way. But he should know better than to say something like that to someone he didn’t actually like, right? Especially since he knows that I probably like him, too, fully knowing the possibility that I might assume it’s in a romantic way? However, the catch is: his friends, some of my friends, and I know that he apparently likes someone else, and he doesn’t deny it when we ask him about it. Even so, I’ve never seen him talk to her, and his friends constantly tease us about how we should be together. I’m not sure if this is because he likes me, or if the fact that I like him is just somewhat obvious. Could the “liking that other girl” thing be a bluff? Or does he really like her and is just really oblivious to my feelings, around me? I don’t want to jump to any conclusions. I’m really not sure.
Thanks in advance for any help or advice!
Hello, so I met this girl in this group I joined a few weeks ago. When she saw me, she seemed to be somewhat interested in me, at least compared to the other girls there. After seeing her there a few times, we finally had a chance to talk personally, and I asked her to dinner. She gave me her number, telling me to call her. So I called a few days later, to try setting a time for the weekend. She had several previous commitments (which she mentioned before I asked her out in the first place). Through our messages, I believe I came off as a bit too eager. She eventually said she was just willing to hang out as friends. I said I would be willing to do that, though I still have feelings for her. Since then, we haven’t had any interaction, but she hasn’t like removed me on social media. Any suggestions for going forward? Is there any chance I could make something work? When I see her at the group, anything I should particularly say (or not say)? Any advice would help. Thanks.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months, I’m 21 and he’s 24. Lately his behaviour has changed a lot. It seems like we argue almost everyday and it’s usually over little things. He tends to get angry pretty quickly and it always ends with him calling me stupid and saying I’m incapable of doing anything right. I have told him that I don’t like it when he calls me names but it feels like when we argue he uses it against me out of spite. A few days ago we went to a concert, and he got really drunk. So drunk that he could barely stand straight, it was super embarrassing. While we were sitting down he patted his jacket and couldn’t find his phone, he got REALLY angry and started shouting at me and saying that he’s going to break up with me if he doesn’t find his phone by the end of that night (a phone I had bought for him) I was pretty sure he hadn’t lost it but every time I tried to go near him to search for it he would swear and shout at me so I just left him alone, when he did eventually find his phone in his pocket I burst into tears and he started begging for forgiveness and saying he was sorry. Even though he apologised and I accepted it I still can’t get over that night and I’m so hurt that he would be so mean. Do you think I should bring up that night? Should I tell him how I feel? Or should I leave it in the past?
There is this girl i like at school that i have liked for a year now. I told her last year about me liking her, but she never told me how she felt. I also told a girl i liked her in the past and it didnt go well, she didnt like me, but anyway, how do i ask this girl out in a normal way, or if she likes me or not, and how do i tell her i like her. Btw: We are graduating soon this year so I may never have a chance to tell/ask her ever again. I never had a girlfriend before so my knowledge on this subject is little.
Hello i have been dating for two years now.I cheated on my boyfriend exactly an year ago from today because when we started out i wasnt serious about the relationship.Now i am deeply inlove with him he claimed he forgave me but whenever he meets the guy i cheated on him with he falls into memory phase and gets angry and keeps quiet whenever we spend time.We are currently planning a wedding but am afraid and i dont know what to do now to help him heal since am inlove with him and i have been faithful ever since.
So there is this girl i like at school. She gives me that warm fuzzy feeling, and she is around me every now and then. I have liked her for about a year now, and i came out to tell her at the end of the school year last year, but she never told me how she felt. I have been too nervous to confront her, but almost everyday, me or her wind up talking a little or having an indirect conversation. And very often, i see her looking at me, but im not sure if she really is. She smiles at me every once in a while, and if im lucky, we talk to eachother for a minute or two. I’ve been thinking of asking if she likes me or not, but im too nervous, and afriad i would embarass her or wind up embarassing myself from rejection. Btw: Ive never had a girlfriend before, so I dont exactly know how to ask her out.
Otherwise happily married for 23 years. Have talked at length and repeatedly about his lack of initiation. He doesn’t initiate sex, touch, conversation, time together, or anything else. If I don’t initiate it, it doesn’t happen. And it hurts. I need to feel wanted too. I have never rejected him. The only plans he makes are when his friends or family call. Then I’m invited to tag along. And that hurts too. I told him I’m exhausted. I’ve been dealing with some major physical and mental health challenges, but getting through them. I just don’t have the energy to be the only one making an effort to stay connected to my husband. So I outright asked him to do the initiating for the next few weeks. That was 2 months ago. He’s initiated sex once, and pretty much nothing else. Beyond frustrated and incredibly hurt. Any advice would be much appreciated. This comes up every couple of months. The same issue. Nothing changes. Every other area is pretty solid and I know I’m very lucky. I’m just really, really hurt that in 23 years, he’s planned ONE weekend for us. At his buddy’s urging, for our 20th anniversary. I don’t need hearts and flowers every day. I’m not a romantic. I’m not needy and don’t need a lot of romance. I just need to feel like he WANTS to make an effort to make me feel loved. Any ideas? Suggestions? Advice?
LemonVibe 