“I feel lonely”

I feel lonely. I have plenty of friends from high school who I keep in touch with using discord, and I’ve got a few acquaintances in college. When I say that I feel lonely, I mean romantically and sexually. I’ve tried plenty of ways to maybe ease myself into a relationship. I’ve tried self reflection to appease the requirement of loving myself in order to be capable of loving others. I’ve tried putting myself into a mindset of being indifferent so that I don’t come off as creepy while it becomes easier for me to tease and be playful.

I’m also fairly handsome (I can pull off a clean look and a rugged/scruffy look), not to brag or anything it’s just that I get that a lot, but I don’t get many advances (not that I’m really expecting so much as hoping). I want to find myself in a relationship, but I don’t have much time to even devote to one so I’m also fearful of seeking it out. I don’t want to get into a relationship and then not have the time to give to keep it going.

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“I love him but don’t see a future”

I think loneliness has been accepting myself to get trapped in an unhappy relationship for years. I know I have the will power, but the fear of the unknown is really scary.. I have been in this relationship for three years. Wow.. I cant believe it’s only been three years because looking back, it feels like it’s been eternity. Him and I began as best friends and fell in love.

My boyfriend is a nice guy. He is loyal. He is smart. He is generous and also very easy going. These are qualities that I personally wished I possessed so I have always admired and appreciated the way his way of life brought me some zen.

However, as time went on, I realized that his easy-goingness really came from his lack of engagement to anything. He could not get anything done. Or he could not even start because he is “too afraid of failing”. He always pushes things to the last minute which always ends up stressing both of us out. I am not a planner. I am a Sagittarius for crying out loud. I like adventures and spontaneity, however, I saw myself gradually turning into a mom figure. Guiding him through very simple procedures of life, making sure to keep him motivated, making sure he follows through with his plans. It has become so exhausting, dragging him along to get things done.
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“My marriage I would rate a 1 out of 10”

I am 46 and married with one son, who is 8. My wife and I started dating back in 1989. We have been together without separation since 1989, after 16 years of dating and about 10 years of engagement. We married in 2005. My son was born in 2008. We live a good life, not perfect but pretty comfortable.

My wife is a 10 out 10 as a mother. Very caring and responsible with our son and we raise him together and have a strong family bond. We eat dinner together every night and we spend time together as a family in the most healthy way any good American family does. My only pain is my marriage. Continue reading