“We lost contact then she messaged me on my birthday”

Hi guys, first time I have used anything like this, but I need advice really bad. I am currently halfway through being 18 and breezing through University life.

6 months ago, on my 18th birthday, I got a message from a girl I used to be really close friends with, and it was odd as I had not seen or had contact with her for 6 years. Obviously, it was my 18th birthday and I was a little drunk and as a result, I messed up the conversation and it was awkward and cringeworthy to read back the next morning.

I then thought that any opportunity of rekindling a friendship with her had passed as I messed up (for a while I thought I could message her apologizing for the conversation, explaining I was drunk, but it seemed false and even if it would be a good move, the moment has passed).

6 months down the line and there has still been no contact, but I can’t stop thinking about her.

It may seem a little weird and creepy, but when we were young we had the sort of friendship where we didn’t understand what a relationship was, so nothing really came of it and it was the sort of age where it was “uncool” to hang out with a girl (lol).

I guess I don’t have the courage to message her, in fear of rejection or if she doesn’t feel the same way and I wouldn’t know where to start, or what excuse I would have to message her in the first place.

I’m not very social media savvy so I missed her birthday and the opportunity that could have come along with it. I sort of hope when we both get back from University that we bump into each other in the street so I can start up a normal conversation with her then, but in the 6 years of me not seeing her at all, despite living in the same medium-sized town, I doubt that will happen now.

I basically want some advice about how I can try and get back in contact with her after my hiccup on my birthday and to try and become friends with her again, as I just can’t shake her off my mind and I have inexplicably strong feelings for her, even though I haven’t seen her for so long.

I have tried asking the girls in my flat, but they aren’t useful at all and just tell me to message her with no advice as to how I should approach it. The guys I have asked as well just tell me to forget about her and move on, but I can’t.

I can’t stop thinking as to why she decided to message me all of a sudden for my 18th as if I was on her mind for some reason rather than doing the standard happy birthday post on Facebook. Basically, I need some advice on how to approach this situation or if I should just leave it and carry on with life. Thanks in advance for any replies.

One thought on ““We lost contact then she messaged me on my birthday”

  1. Anonymous says:

    She messaged you, because she was bored and you were there. Both the girls and guys have good advice. Since you let too much time slip she’s move on with her life so it would be in your best interest to move on. Look at this point you are obsessing over a lady you DO NOT KNOW. Six years is a lot of time to pass.

    If you want to talk to her you send her a message and say “Hi, how are you doing?” then say I saw some recent photo pop up on facebook and thought of you if you have her friended on facebook. If she doesn’t respond then she’s not interested. However since you already have and she already hasn’t she isn’t interested. It’s just been too long.

    Maybe try online dating to get over the girl who you used to know and is now a fantasy. ANext time you’re interested in a girl, don’t wait or play waiting games (not saying you did, but that’s only something people who have no experience in life do). You are at college and there are a ton of girls. They are not aliens. Just talk to them and see what progresses.

    Here’s some good conversation starters: If you had a super power what would it be? Why? Are you into pets? Which one was your favorite? What’s your favorite food? What’s your favorite comfort food? What kind of music do you like? Who is your favorite band? Ever played (insert video game or sport here)?

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