“I can’t find a meaningful relationship”

I’m an 18 year old freshman in college. I’m from India and I study at a university in the United States of America. I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m pretty depressed when I see other couples because I’d do anything to have a meaningful relationship.

I like to think I am a good looking guy (that’s what many friends, both guys and girls told me). I’m pretty funny and I believe I’m a nice guy. I care for everyone close to me and I love to help people in need. I’m pretty outgoing and I can literally talk about anything. I never bore people and every friend I make gets close to me in a few weeks.

I feel lonely even when with friends and I get depressed when I think about me not finding love or having a relationship. I’ve moved to the US only recently but I already made a ton of friends who are of Caucasian, African American, Asian and Hispanic origins. I would say I have no problem in talking to strangers and I can’t understand why I don’t have a girlfriend. I have no other mental problems and I’m sure no one thinks I’m weird haha. I talk to a few of my close friends about how I’m struggling in finding a girlfriend and venting helps me be okay. I’m about 6 feet tall and I’m not fat nor do I have abs.

The problem in short is I can’t seem to find love or a relationship and I’d be thankful for any advice you guys can give me. If you guys can think of any other reason why I can’t find a relationship, please let me know. Thank you 🙂

3 thoughts on ““I can’t find a meaningful relationship”

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    It’s hard to say what exactly you’re doing wrong without actually knowing and interacting with you in person. So I don’t think you’re going to find the answer on the internet.

    At the same time, you do seem to think pretty highly of yourself in multiple ways, so I wonder if that manifests itself in real life as being narcissistic or entitled. Because I’ll be blunt, a few of your comments strike me as not being very self-aware. For instance, consider the number of absolute statements you make about yourself. Can you say with 100% certainty that you never bore people? From my personal experience, people who believe they 1) can talk about anything, and 2) never bore people, get so engrossed in their own prattle that they fail to realize that people are just smiling nodding along out of politeness.

    Perhaps it may help to do a bit more reflecting on the assumptions you’ve made about yourself.

    Then again, there’s also the large elephant in the room, which is that if you’re a first-generation Indian immigrant, you’re going to have a lot of stereotypes to combat. And that means you’re simply going to have a smaller pool of women who will be interested in you.

  2. Amber says:

    I think what’s stopping you finding anyone is that you are probably seeping desperation out of every pore. Sorry but if ur that bummed out and depressed about not having a partner and that desperate to find someone – it’s going to be really obvious to everyone u meet. People generally run the other way when they sense that in a potential partner. You are so young to want to be tied down – just enjoy yourself! As soon as you start enjoying life and experiencing things and start to be a bit happier to be just you- you will probably meet someone you know? So just chill out.

  3. Laws says:

    These two above responses are spot on. You would do well to not be defensive and truly examine the points they eluded to. WIthout knowing you its hard to pinpoint it your exact problem. I would lean on the advice from the other two above. What i will say, can be a solution to you. FIRST, stop focusing on being a relationship. Instead, focus on enjoying your life. Involve yourself in social activities that challenge you and expose you to different groups of people. Join a social co-ed sports league. Join a service project feeding the homeless. Join a church. These are typically better ways to engage people in a more natural way. Relationship many times come out of friendships. Look to establish strong friendships with people and relationships will come.

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