“My coworkers make me feel like an outcast”

I started a new job and, unbeknown to me, there were two distinct social groups. I did not try or intend to, but I fell in with one group. It soon dawned on me that the two groups had an almost visceral dislike for each other.

Six months later, and within the space of a month, all the people from my group had quit or moved on to other positions. They were replaced by people who formed friendships with the second group. This has now left me alone and feeling somewhat of an outcast from the newly formed much larger single group. For reasons I won’t go into I cannot quit this job, as much as I would like to. I don’t know what I can do.

It is horrible, nobody talks to me and I am rebuffed whenever I try to engage with anyone. I feel stupid for saying this but I even feel I am being actively bullied by some members of the new group.  Thank you, any advice will be welcome.

One thought on ““My coworkers make me feel like an outcast”

  1. R says:

    Cliques are always tough and its frustrating to me that that kind of immature stuff doesnt stop after high school. I have been in a similar situation in the past. My coworkers have very strong social circles that have formed…. most of them dont include me. But for me theres a strong amount of racial tension in my workplace that plays a roll.

    My only real advice is to hunker down and focus on your work. Resentments are a hard thing to break without some communication and I know how frustrating that is when it feels like they wont even give you the opportunity to try and communicate. For me it didnt happen until there was a big blowout argument where all my immediate coworkers singled me out criticized everything about me. I ended up having to later confront one, eat crow and apologize (for something I hadnt actually done) and then she stood up for me.

    Try to single one out thats on the fringes of the circle and befriend them. Social circles have their own hierarchy…. The ones on the bottom are more likely to give you the time of day. (Imagine in your head that youre on the discovery channel trying to infiltrate a pack of animals. That helped me— making light of an uncomfortable situation. Making it a joke in my head, not taking it all so grimly serious)

    Also, More importantly: Keep your friend circle outside of work alive and well, so you dont feel so alone. At the end of the day those are just your coworkers, not your friends. You dont have to make them your life. Have a life outside of there.

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