“My wife is mad that I helped my mom out”

So here’s my situation… I’m wondering if you guys think that this is absurd or whether I did something wrong.

In a nutshell, my older sister (34) passed away unexpectedly last week. My mother was obviously very upset, so I left work early to see her that day. Around dinner time, I went to the kitchen to cook her some dinner and realized that she was pretty much out of groceries. So, I ran to the store, picked up some dinner, and then bought her about $85 worth of food to keep her going for a few more days.

Fast forward to tonight. My wife, after analyzing our online banking transactions, comes downstairs and is LIVID after finding out that I spent $85 on groceries for my mom. After laying into me for a bit, she tells me that I am not to waste our money like that, and that my mother is taking advantage of me. She also told me to ask her to pay us back.

We’re not exactly struggling. My family income is about 85k annually, of which my job generates about 80%. My mom is divorced and makes somewhere around 22-24k.

Was I wrong here? I feel like this was just a small way for me to help in a time of need….

2 thoughts on ““My wife is mad that I helped my mom out”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’m very sorry for your loss. As for your wife, I have to say, I think she overreacted. Based on what you’ve said, there is nothing wrong with helping out your mom at such a difficult time. I hope you can reason with your wife and she can come to understand there is nothing wrong with helping others out, especially your own mother!

  2. Anonymous says:

    I would want to find out why she thinks that amount is incorrect. What is making her fear losing 85 dollars? Has your mother needed a lot of help in the past? If not, then something is making your wife not trust you. Maybe you need to keep a eye on HER more. Has your wife always been this controlling? Have you sought family or couples counseling? Is there something in her life that makes her fear losing control or that you might be enabling your family?

    DO NOT ask your mother for this money back. If this was something that happened a lot, that’s one thing, but a one time thing during the loss of her child? That’s definitely over reacting.

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