“My friends are backstabbers who leave me out”

Since the beginning of the school year (7th grade) I have been feeling left out. My friends always act as though I’m intruding. It’s as if they want me to go away and they can’t be more obvious about it, except for the fact that they can’t tell me to my face. The give each other these side looks and sometimes “joke” about how I am so annoying and dumb –though I know those aren’t really jokes– and yet they don’t ever try walking up to me and telling me how they feel to my face.

It’s a weird situation because I already know that I’m that friend that nobody likes, it’s just that I keep trying to make them let me in. I also know that if I called it quits, I wouldn’t have anywhere else to go. The friend groups at school are all formed and tightly packed. Wherever I would go, I would be intruding. I tried talking to one of these “friends” about how I feel. I literally spent three full weeks opening up to them on Snapchat and they showed support, making me feel like someone that mattered. We talked at school about it sometimes and I would feel more validated than I have felt in a full year (maybe two?).Soon, she began acting like the rest of them, as though every word I sent her disappeared, stopped existing, or got erased from her memory. Whoever I thought she was, was a lie. She didn’t care, not enough or not for long enough. She’s annoyed at anything I do and acts as though she can’t hear me when I speak to her, so I repeat myself often or even shout her name so that she simply doesn’t have the choice to avoid me.

So,I texted her on Snapchat again, and I wrote her, “I need to tell you something that’s been on my mind for a few weeks…. about you”. Hopefully she answers soon and I can ask her what she’s thinking and why she’s deliberately backstabbing me. Anyway, I still need advice on what to do with these so-called “friends” because it’s now almost the end of the school year and I have 8th grade to worry about, and I don’t want to spend it sulking around like I did during 7th. It’s time I take action. Please help!

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4 thoughts on ““My friends are backstabbers who leave me out”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I don’t think there is anyone who wants to go back to that age. You will deal with crap like this all through high school and will make new friends. Hang in there. It gets better. I applaud you for trying to talk it out rationally. That’s the adult move. Here’s the thing, those popular kids are going to have a much more tough time than you once they graduate from high school. Kids like you are forced to gasp learn to become interesting.

    Now’s a great time to learn a hobby that will make you a better person over all. Band, art, archery… what are YOU interested in? Take it up and focus on it. Also, it’s a good time to earn money doing yard work, baby sitting, pet sitting. Being busy will help you not feel left out and meet new, kinder people.

    You can’t make other people like you. I had that issue in Jr. high as well. I had maybe two friends and both would be jerks to me in high school after I stood up for them a million times along the way. Thankfully by that time I made new friends and was in a lot of clubs, after school activities and had two jobs to focus on instead of their petty dramas. You may think the friend groups bonds are strong, but they really aren’t and you can’t have too many friends.

    Also, new kids start at the school every year. Look for them and help them find their way. Best of luck to you!

  2. Sarah says:

    I understand how you feel. Back in jr. high by 7th grade, at first i thought I made amazing friends. But in the end, they turned out being backstabbing little hoes, that honestly aren’t that great of friends. They always made sure that I felt left out, and always ganged up on me. I was bullied day in and day out by them. It caused me to become really depressed and I isolated myself from everyone. But it’s okay, you just have to listen to me. As soon as you start high school, you have to find new friends. Sadly, I still talk to these girls, and I felt like i trusted them. It was a mistake, when people start high school, most of them DONT CHANGE, they will still end up acting childish and stuck up, just so they could get other people’s attention. That’s all they end up caring about. As soon as you start high school though, there will be a larger variety of friends to choose from, just choose wisely and become friends with them. You won’t regret it. Every year, I find amazing friends. But last year, even if they were seniors, and I won’t see them, I made the most amazing friends, they were mostly guys, but these guys are the most fun, caring, crazy, people I’ve ever met in my life. They are the rare ones, you just have to choose carefully and find that special group of friends. Chances are you’ll find someone in one of your classes though so if you can find someone nice enough this coming year at least to help you make it to high school, you should be fine.

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