Since the beginning of the school year (7th grade) I have been feeling left out. My friends always act as though I’m intruding. It’s as if they want me to go away and they can’t be more obvious about it, except for the fact that they can’t tell me to my face. The give each other these side looks and sometimes “joke” about how I am so annoying and dumb –though I know those aren’t really jokes– and yet they don’t ever try walking up to me and telling me how they feel to my face.
It’s a weird situation because I already know that I’m that friend that nobody likes, it’s just that I keep trying to make them let me in. I also know that if I called it quits, I wouldn’t have anywhere else to go. The friend groups at school are all formed and tightly packed. Wherever I would go, I would be intruding. I tried talking to one of these “friends” about how I feel. I literally spent three full weeks opening up to them on Snapchat and they showed support, making me feel like someone that mattered. We talked at school about it sometimes and I would feel more validated than I have felt in a full year (maybe two?).Soon, she began acting like the rest of them, as though every word I sent her disappeared, stopped existing, or got erased from her memory. Whoever I thought she was, was a lie. She didn’t care, not enough or not for long enough. She’s annoyed at anything I do and acts as though she can’t hear me when I speak to her, so I repeat myself often or even shout her name so that she simply doesn’t have the choice to avoid me.
So,I texted her on Snapchat again, and I wrote her, “I need to tell you something that’s been on my mind for a few weeks…. about you”. Hopefully she answers soon and I can ask her what she’s thinking and why she’s deliberately backstabbing me. Anyway, I still need advice on what to do with these so-called “friends” because it’s now almost the end of the school year and I have 8th grade to worry about, and I don’t want to spend it sulking around like I did during 7th. It’s time I take action. Please help!