“My mum caught me talking to a boy”

I am a Syrian muslim girl, born and raised in England, turning 20 in a month. I am second year Pharmacy student, currently revising for my end of year exams (eeek), I wish that was my problem though, but oh nono nooo.

Basically, I have a group of friends- consisting of girls, but this year a group of boys have become closer to us, and me and this guy- Foyzul have become really close- we call ourselves library buddies- we go to the library together everyday and get a lot of work done, and it’s really good; we motivate each other a lot- I get more work done when I’m with him. So we are currently on our holidays, and we’ve still been talking- video calling, mainly to motivate each other to revise, and ask each other for help etc etc. The problem is, with being muslim, I have never mentioned to my mum that I have guy friends. From the age of 4 to 18 I had always been to all girl schools, so until university my mum as well as myself had never experienced me having guy friends or even really interacting with guys. So, back to uni- so when I would go home for the weekends/ speak to my mum on the phone, I wouldn’t mention my guy friends, because I was scared of what she would say/ how she would react.

So today, literally only an hour ago, I was on the phone to my Foyz at 1am, discussing some exam questions, and my mum caught me on the phone to him, and I think she was watching us for a good 5 minutes before she came in- I immediately went into panic mode- I didn’t think that I had done anything wrong, but I can see how it would look bad to my mum- I was on facetime to a guy at 1am, and she didn’t even know that I speak to guys- I talk about my girlfriends all the time and never have I ever mentioned any guy, so where has this random guy come from who I’m so close to that I’m on facetime to him at 1am?? At first she asked me what I was doing- I was stood up facing her, and she couldn’t see the screen of the phone- so I replied: I’m on the phone, and then she asked who I was on the phone to, and I replied: Delal (my best friend from uni, who she knows about), at this point Foyz realised that something was wrong, so he hung up- and then came the long chat with my mum.

She asked me who I was on the phone to again, and I repeated: Delal, and then she told me that she saw the guy on my phone. I can’t even describe how disappointed she was in me, it just pains me to even describe what just happened. She went on to say- omg I just can’t–> basically it ended really badly, and she thinks that I am in some secret relationship with this guy, she has taken my phone, and I was trying to study but I just felt like I needed someone to talk to, so here I am.

I would be really grateful if someone could please respond to my post- you can ask me anything; specific questions about the chat with my mum etc, anything really. I just really want to talk to someone and I want to know what the best thing to do going forward from this would be, I just want my mum to see me as her daughter again 😦 I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read and respond this. Thank you

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