“I’m worried he’s trying to control me”

I’ve been dating this boy for 6 months (longest and most serious relationship I’ve ever been in) and we get along really well and are very happy together, but I have my doubts sometimes on the likelihood that this will last, because we have pretty different views on things, and he is very stubborn.

There have been a few things where he asked if I could stop/start doing something because it made him uncomfortable and I have done that. But the couple of times I’ve told him something he does that bothers me, he gets very upset that I’m criticizing him or “trying to change him,” until i just give up, so he never makes any compromises for me like that. It just feels very one sided with the amount of effort he puts in sometimes. I don’t know whether I should bring this up to him and risk him getting even more upset and maybe losing him, or if i should just stop making so many compromises and standing up for myself more until he matches me on it. I really don’t want to lose him. And so far it hasn’t been anything that really mattered that much, but I’m worried it will just grow into a relationship that feels controlling and one sided but is too late to change.

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4 thoughts on ““I’m worried he’s trying to control me”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Follow your gut. It’s telling you that this relationship will get abusive and quick. Don’t ignore red flags like this.

  2. FIRETWIRL says:

    Agreed. There are some really good articles online regarding early or warning signs of emotional abuse. I’d be willing to bet you find several other red flags with this relationship if you take the time to do some online research on this topic. If so, end it early and save yourself from the pain of going completely down that rabbit hole. You deserve better. Focus on finding a PARTNER. ❤

  3. Alexandra de Lory says:

    It looks like there’s a lack of mutual respect. I have had the same experience as you, 2x. One ended in nightmare abusive relationship, and the other I ended before it got to that point because I learned a painful lesson from the first one. You can find a better guy.

  4. Sarah says:

    I’m young and been with my boyfriend for over a year. He asked me to stop doing certain things but then backtracks and says but it’s up to you and that he doesn’t really have a problem with it. So then I feel guilty and just stop doing them anyways.
    But i know it’s different if I asked him to stop doing certain things and it turns into an argument where I’m in the wrong.
    I love him but been in love with this guy for almost 3 years even though we weren’t properly dating. It’s hard to end a relationship over doubts because when you two are happy it feels like the best time ever and you think you were being so stupid to think about ending it with him.
    All I can say is, if you find yourself in doubt more than you are happy then leave. It’s easy for some people to say ‘leave him!’ When you have this strong emotional connection to someone and it isn’t as easy as just saying “bye”

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