Two weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me, (a short relationship but I thought it was going well). Since then I’ve convinced myself that nobody I want, will ever want me. I’ve had the worst luck ever with guys this past year and am afraid it’ll continue. Help!
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Time to take some time off dating and focus on you. What do YOU want out of life? What do YOU want out of a man? These are only answers you can answer, but you need time off the dating scene to focus on you to learn them.
According to cognitive behavioral theory, the thoughts we pay attention to are what we become. For example, if you are on a gorgeous beach but you are so concerned that you’re going to step on rock, all you’ll see are the rocks and miss the sounds of the waves, maybe a few dolphins, and even the hotties walking by that are checking you out!
It’s human nature to look for danger/things that hurt us. We have to make special efforts to look for the positive, especially right after a ego bending event like a breakup. One way to feel better when you’re down is to focus on behaviors instead of feelings and thoughts- if you pretend you’re all that, after time your mind will follow! Want more info? Here’s an article I wrote a while ago about this very topic: http://therapyinsd.com/2014/01/24/cognitive-behavioral-therapy