I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a half now, he’s my first boyfriend and our relationship was doing amazing. We’re both in college now and he’s really sweet, and we talk about our future together all the time.
However, he has told me many times that the sexual aspect is sub-par and he would like more from it. Lately he has been asking me to go down on him more and for me to start giving him bjs even though I’ve expressed to him many times that I’m really uncomfortable with doing that. Even though he tells me that all of his friends are doing it, it still really scares me. He’s been asking for about 6 months now and my idea of it hasn’t really changed. It doesn’t really help either that the first time we tried anal, he didn’t even really ask me. Of course , he apologized afterwards when I told him how much it hurt, and said that he didn’t know he was doing it, but looking back, I don’t know if I really fully believe him.
I was never much into the physical aspect of our relationship and tried to make up for it in other fields. I’ve been supporting him emotionally and (currently) financially while he’s in between jobs, even though almost all of my funds go into my school. However, even though I put all of my spare time and effort into those other two fields, he still asks me for more in the field I’m not entirely comfortable with.
I can’t point out to him how much I do for him, because he hates it so much from his parents. it didn’t seem like a problem until last week when he told me that (not exact wording) if I really loved him then I would do it. Of course after a little thought he retracted his statement and blamed it on bad wording, but I don’t know how to tell if there was any truth behind it or not. I had so many things to say to him after that statement, but I’m really emotional when it comes to my relationship and I couldn’t really say much in fear of having a nervous breakdown in front of him.
Now I don’t know how to confront him about this because I haven’t talked to him since. I really need help in moving forward with my relationship. I can’t just leave him, when we were so happy talking about our future, literally minutes before. And I need to know if it is likely that he will ever be okay with me needing time to be ready or never being ready to do this.