“I can’t cope with my parent’s death”

Dear Blurb ,
I’m a 20 year old girl from Cape Town, South Africa and I found my mom dead on the bathroom floor when I was 13. When I was 18 I walked into my dad’s room as he took his last breath.

I’m going through some weird emotions and I don’t really have money to talk to someone. When my dad passed, the flat we’ve been renting was put in my name so all the responsibility was given to me overnight.

I’m not really sure how to deal with it all, please send me your advice and tips to help with coping.

“A guy I like asked my best friend out”

This week has been a shitty emotional roller coaster. Monday morning in class I was really happy because the guy I like sat by my computer even when I was working and we just talked all class and it was great. I was convinced that he felt the same way. Then he asked my best friend out that day and I was just devastated.

Initially I was in denial, because I was so sure that he liked me. I honestly thought that he was gonna ask my friend about me and saw me and then panicked, which is completely ridiculous. So I moped all the way through Tuesday and Wednesday, until Thursday, when a friend of mine told me that this guy was upset that he messed things up between us. This just confused me more because 1. I didn’t know he thought that there were “things” between us to begin with and 2. Why would him liking my friend ruin things between us?

Long story short, I still think about him all the time and I keep thinking of ridiculous scenarios where we could be together. I really need help trying to get over him while still being friends.

“Will he ever be okay with me needing time to be ready?”

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a half now, he’s my first boyfriend and our relationship was doing amazing. We’re both in college now and he’s really sweet, and we talk about our future together all the time.

However, he has told me many times that the sexual aspect is sub-par and he would like more from it. Lately he has been asking me to go down on him more and for me to start giving him bjs even though I’ve expressed to him many times that I’m really uncomfortable with doing that. Even though he tells me that all of his friends are doing it, it still really scares me. He’s been asking for about 6 months now and my idea of it hasn’t really changed. Continue reading

“I want her back but she isn’t the girl I knew”

This is painful for me to talk about, but I’m alone and I need advice FAST. Today, I noticed that my girlfriend of 9+ months had changed her Instagram bio.. it had another guy’s name and yesterday’s date.

When I asked her about it, she claimed that he was her best friend and that was “the day they met”. Which doesn’t make any sense. After I called her out on this, she got mad and accused me of “stalking” her. She then told me that she was breaking up with me. It was so sudden and I had never been so distraught in my life.She later said that she would get back with me if I “stopped stalking her profile” and “let her go on dates”… What the heck? I don’t like having my emotions toyed with.. I want her back but this isn’t the girl who I know.

“I’m dealing with family grief and cheating”

A couple months ago, my grandmother and aunt died in a car accident. My mother was devastated, seeing as losing your mom and sister is really rough. Although I have mostly accepted it and moved on, my mom hasn’t really. She is definitely an emotional person and I don’t expect her grief to last forever, but it worries me how much she cries when she thinks no one is looking or is in a depressed mood.

My dad has not been much of a source for support to her either. He was kind to her at first but now he mostly keeps to himself. They have been married for 20 years but recently, my mom found out that he was cyber cheating on her for sixteen months. I have no idea what to do in this situation, the tension in our home is so high and I hate to see the situation breaking my mother like this. Please help.