“He’s planning to be roommates with the girl he cheated on me with”

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half. We never really had issues until this girl who became his best friend came into his life. If they had been friends long before then, I would have absolutely no reason to feel insecure.

However, he and I started dating months before they became friends. About a year into our relationship, he and his friend started dating — and I was completely unaware. He was cheating on me and lying about it, but he had told his whole family and all of his friends that he had broken up with me.

I never really let people get to me like that, but went into a manic state and faced (and currently still face) a lot of mental struggles. He cut me off, and I felt very alone, because all of his friends are also my friends, and based off of his lies, they took his side.

That happened for about two weeks, and he and I finally talked about his new relationship. That night, he ended it with the other girl, and for the past 3 months, he’s been incredibly remorseful for everything he’s done. Keep in mind, during most of that time, he cheated, and before, he was a serious alcoholic.

I’m quite forgiving, so I’ve let most of the situation go. However, he and the girl are still best friends. They often talk about the times they shared during the relationship in front of me, they hang out every night, they go out for lunch and dinner, and too often she lets him know that she still has feelings for him.

Even worse, they are going to be roommates next year. I have tried to bring up to him that the current state of their relationship makes me uncomfortable, but he’s quick to turn it around and say I shouldn’t be so insecure. I have post-traumatic moments regarding the weeks where I was completely cut off from everyone, and I panic most every night. He knows the trauma that he and his best friend have put me through, yet they don’t do much to prevent my panic attacks or at least show me any type of respect.

Maybe I don’t know what love is, but I love this person with my entire being, but I think I’m being treated unfairly. What do I do?

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3 thoughts on ““He’s planning to be roommates with the girl he cheated on me with”

  1. M says:

    Im sorry to say this, but you gotta dump his ass. He is being incredibly unfair and unconsidered to you. Have some respect for yourself. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Someone who will love you and want you and need ONLY you. If that’s what you want – a monogamous relationship, you should not be ok with this. I sure you love him. And that’s not easy… however you must think of yourself – first. always. simply ask your self – is it worth the trauma? the pain? If a man Loves a woman, for real, he would never treat her like he does you, and i think everyone deserves to be loved, for real. Just end it. It wil; hurt, i know, i’ve been there, but you’ll be better off. Trust me on that, There is no such thing as “the one”. there is simply people who decide to care, who decide they want to make the effort, because the other person is worth it, it does not sound to me like he is “worth it”. And for the record – if he is gonna be roommates with her, they are gonna fuck. Like, sorry to be brutal, but common. im sure you understand that too… Don’t let him do this to you. You deserve better.

  2. Anonymous says:

    You love a alcoholic who gas lights you, cheated on you, doesn’t care about how you feel and is moving in with the girl he cheated on you with and lied to all your friend (who are really friendimies, because not one of them is standing up for you) about. He’s going to cheat on you again and most likely with her. I mean if that’s not a slap in the face with reality I don’t know what is. I mean what more do you need to prove it? To walk in on them boinking?

    I think you need to break up now and continue with your therapy. Also now would be a good time to find new friends, which is hard, but that’s part of life. Join volunteering groups, book clubs, and so on. This will help you rebuild yourself by helping others and make real friends with your interests. It’s going to be hard, because you made a abusive person your whole world. internet hugs

  3. Leah Adam says:

    I felt my husband of 11 years was cheating on me. I didn’t know any of the details at all, only that he has been talking to her for a while. I am devastated and I feel sick constantly. I can barely eat and I find myself trying to win him over more than he is trying to win me back. I felt helpless and alone to a point that it’s eating me up so much inside I barely wanted to live anymore. So the IT guy at work introduced me to a hacker who helped me hack into his cellphone and i was able to get the details of how many women he was cheating on me with…I decided to come on here to tell people about this particular hacker who changed my life forever and took me out of the shackles of broken marriage. Contact him on (BIRDEYE dot HACK at GMAIL dot COM). He’s legit and keeps to his words, also his charges are affordable too.

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