“The biggest problem is that he’s not Christian”

I’m currently in college and have been in a LDR (~3,742 miles – overseas) for over 3 1/2 years now. I’m very happy, but the biggest problem is that he’s not Christian… There’s another guy, though, who goes to the church I go to while I’m at college. He’s super sweet, but he rarely talks to me.

Once in a blue moon we’ll have a five minute conversation, but I think he might be kind of reluctant to talk to me because of the boyfriend I have, or he’s just super shy (don’t get me wrong here, but I think he likes me because every now and then I’ll catch him glancing at me and what not). Now my current boyfriend is trying to come to Jesus, but it’s seeming to be really difficult for him. I just don’t know what to do. If I could put qualities of both of them into another guy, I would, but I can’t. I don’t want to give up everything I’ve invested with my current boyfriend, but I don’t want to never experience the other guy either.

3 thoughts on ““The biggest problem is that he’s not Christian”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I think you are making excuses to be in a closer relationship. Otherwise you would stay the course with LDR. If it were me making this choice off of this limited information I would stay with LDR, because HE is willing to put in all this effort to be with you. Guy number 2 may be the same religion as you, but you don’t know what else goes along with him. He may have major issues that you have no idea about. Being the same religion may help you a little, but it’s not going to save a relationship in the long run. Plenty of Christians divorce.

  2. Anonymous says:

    If you really love him-and he really loves you- things will work out. Either you can try to convert him or he can support the decisions you make having to do with your religion, even if that isn’t what he believes in.

  3. Anonymous says:

    I understand where you’re coming from. Dating a non-believer can be a little frustrating, especially when you feel like there’s not much you can do about it. He might need to do a little soul-searching and it might take some time. But I do think it is promising that your boyfriend is making the effort. It shows that he is trying and takes your beliefs seriously. Even though it may seem that he may not have the same beliefs as you now, he might work towards it so that you both can grow in faith together. But I also would suggest that you guard your heart in the meantime, since relationships can be difficult if you don’t have the same foundation. It is possible to date someone of different religious beliefs, you just need to see how much of a priority it is for you. Don’t settle though. Ask yourself if you’re willing to encourage him and wait for him to come to Jesus, or if it is best that you walk away now and see where you two end up later on. Does he lift you up? Or do you feel like he could risk bringing you down if he doesn’t share your values? If so, maybe you would need to give yourselves space so that he can work on himself and so that you can see what qualities you want in a man. And to see if the other guy is worth getting to know. I do hink he might be interested in you, yet he probably doesn’t want to come between you and your boyfriend. Maybe a little reflection is needed, but I know it’s easier said than done. Be true to yourself and know that we’ve all been there. It only gets easier after you reflect on what is best for you, and make the decision of growing together or apart. My advice is to take care of yourself first. Best of luck and lots of prayers. It will work out either way whatever you decide 🙂

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