I have a friend of 6 years who I do love and we have had great times. But over time (and it’s getting worse as time goes on) I have realized that this friend has a serious issue with guilt tripping and attention issues. I’m bringing this to a place like this now, because it really is getting serious.
The friend’s mother had a seizure, and it was found out that she had a small tumor in her frontal lobe, which is being removed in a few days. I want to be there for my friend and I will be, but we got into a shouting match very quickly yesterday because my friend showed up in the middle of my school’s art show, and started every conversation with every person who saw them with ‘well my mom is dying from cancer so I’m doing horrible’ and then proceeded to make more similar comments, etc.
It was pretty obvious they only wanted attention, not advice or compassion. Every reassuring attempt was turned down and dashed in the dirt. The chances their mother actually has cancer and is at risk of dying is very slim. The lady is talking and texting people, for pete’s sake.
My friend does things like this constantly…it’s the only problem I have with them but it’s a very serious problem to me personally. Other than this, they constantly gripe and make comments about how they’re suicidal, how they won’t eat and throw up everything they eat, how they are so stressed, how they hate their art…and so on. If anyone understands mental illness it’s me, I suffer from a lot of things they do. But I’m mature enough to not manipulate the people around me and I actively try to improve myself and fix things, instead of asking everyone to pity me constantly.
I’m at my wits end with this….any advice is highly appreciated.
I think your friend is not doing very well and you are acting selfish by ‘not wanting it in your life’. If I were you I would talk to your friend, explain your issues and ask if they are alright. Also everyone deals differently with shocks, and their mom mom having a seizure and a tumor definitely is a shock – it is not fair to judge the reaction just because you find it annoying.
Sorry if my comment was too negative, that was not my intention, the advice in it being perhaps try to keep showing sympathy but also keeping in mind that everybody deals with issues differently.
Time to let the professionals help her. Suggest counseling every time she starts and for God’s sake call 911 when she suggests suicide. People who commit suicide tend to tell people before hand but no one takes it seriously until it’s too late.
I had 4 friends commit suicide when I was in high school. Don’t wait.
http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org
^ hope that helps