Ok so, my bf of two years really wants anal sex, I really don’t want to cuz we have tried before and it hurt so bad that I was sore for almost a whole week afterwards. We have a good relationship and I give him literally everything else he wants. My question is, is there any way to go on with this and not be in pain or mentally scarred from this? Experience has taught me if you don’t give up things like this even a good man will go somewhere else for it. And that would devastate me.
I’m much more concerned that you feel so worthless. Of course a good man will not go somewhere else! That’s what makes them a good man! Do not have anal sex if you are uncomfortable with it. JUST DON’T. You are worth more than just a sex object. You are not a toy! You are a living human being and your boyfriend should have enough respect to never want to hurt you.
However, if you feel like you are interested in it then use lots of lube and go very slowly. If it hurts then stop. Once again reiterating IF YOU ARE EVER UNCOMFORTABLE HAVING A SEX ACT THEN DON’T!
I was petrified of anal sex. Now, I absolutely love it!!
I use a numbing spray. Where I live we have a spray called Dr Long. It’s for sex and numbing. It numbs the anus really well. My hubby still puts plenty lube on and takes it really slow.
I actually find playing with myself while he slowly pushes himself in really helps me with the discomfort. I generally play with myself the whole time his is having sex with my ass because it makes it more comfortable and it’s one of the best orgasms I have ever had! So we do it on a regular basis now.
I’ve also found that the more regular we do it, the easier it gets.
I hope this helps!
If you are too scared, don’t force yourself to do it. If you want to, then try and take my advice because it does help.
I’d like to be the 3rd person to let you know you’re out of your mind. You are NOT with a good man, and it seems you never have been, please work on your confidence. I tried it, and got nothing from it, don’t waste your time. I’ve only have one other guy suggest it, I told him no, and that was the end of it. I eventually dumped him 5 years later b/c I liked someone else, but he was a good guy, and if he had tried to push the issue I would have laughed in his face and dumped him on the spot. No respectful man would push their significant other to do something sexually that makes them uncomfortable. If he continues to pester you after you said you’re uncomfortable with it, guess what, you’re being abused. If your idea of a “good man” is someone who’s abusing you, you should seek professional help. No decent person is going to leave you b/c of something so ridiculous.
If he loved and cares for you i dont think he will go somewhere else for anal if you satisfy everything else.
As for the intercourse, use lots of lube and start very slow. Relax yourself, if you tense up it will hurt.
Best of luck