I don’t want anything to become serious. I am in high school (freshman), and I recently got asked out by a guy who is completely compatible with me, and my parents seem to like him. I met him a couple months before he asked me out. We started talking around 2 weeks before he asked the big question, and me being me, I said yes.
There has been some pressure from his friends, as he’s been very public about his crush on me, and now everyone knows that we are together. It’s been a week into the relationship, and already I feel that something is off between us. I know I shouldn’t have accepted, especially since I’m so young and naïve.
I am also working on my grades, and I realize now that I don’t want this to interfere with it. It would’ve been easier to break it up with him if it wasn’t for how obsessed he is with me. He buys me coffee every lunch and gives me his sweaters. He is also very sweet and extremely kind to me, and it makes it hard to tell him anything.
Again, it’s only been a week, and I’m in questioning right now. Should I give him a chance, or should I break up with him? It would break him, but I’m not sure what to do.
2 thoughts on ““I want to break up, but he’s obsessed with me””
I can’t tell exactly how you feel about him. It sounds like maybe you liked him but not he’s smothering you and it makes you uncomfortable. If that’s the case, I’d recommend having a talk with him about that. Tell him you like him but you need more personal space and need to have time to focus on school, etc. This might be hard for him to accept, so don’t be afraid to stand your ground.
Maybe you didn’t really want to date him and just felt pressured to. If that’s the case, break up with him. This is your life and you don’t have time to sacrifice yourself for someone else’s feelings. He may be sad for a while, but he’ll be fine.
Most important point here, figure out what you want, and make sure you get it. Being kind is important, but learn this now: never do things you don’t like to protect boys from their own feelings.
I would tell him it’s too much, too soon and you need to back off to focus on your studies. You have a good head on your shoulders and gut warning you that this isn’t what you want. Everyone else can sit back down. They don’t have to be in this relationship. Don’t let them quilt you into anything.
Let’s flip the situation for a second: would YOU like it if the guy wasn’t really into you would you want your friends guilting him into a relationship? Would you want him to stay with you if you weren’t that into him. It wastes his and your time in finding what you need.
Be strong and good luck!