“The age gap doesn’t bother us, but his parents don’t approve”

I’ve had a crush on this guy for a really long time, and this summer, I figured out he felt the same way about me. I had an amazing summer with him, and we were together all the time. We were in the same youth group, so we went on a lot of trips together this summer (Dallas, Lookout Mountain, Whitewater rafting, camping).

On the bus ride home from camp, he sat by me and told me how he felt. We’ve both never been in a relationship before, but he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met. He puts God and others before himself in every situation and is such a great guy.

The only problem is he’s older. I’m a sophomore in high school (but mature for my age), and he’s a freshman in college. The age gap doesn’t bother either of us, but his parents don’t really approve. My parents do approve, though, since they know him so well.

We’ve kept in touch since he went to college this year, and I wrote him a letter a while back, and I’ve been too scared to mail it. Should I send it? And what should we do about his parents?

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4 thoughts on ““The age gap doesn’t bother us, but his parents don’t approve”

  1. Alexa Durant says:

    The age gap can be a problem because of legal issues, which is probably what his parents are taking into consideration. I don’t recommend dating in secret because if can be problematic. If you live in the US, in most places, legally there’s a 3 year age limit for dating so if you guys are within those years, you should be fine. Also, dating (as long as it’s legal) is his choice, not theirs.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I agree with the person above. Check your (and his if he’s in another state) state’s laws first. If you are 15 or 16 in most states, all your parents have to do is get him arrested for statutory rape and then his life is ruined, because of him being on a sex offender list for life. It’s really, REALLY hard to get off that list. Heck some people have gotten on for being underage and texting nudes of THEMSELVES or just urinating in public. You can’t live close to a school, daycare, or church daycare, some places won’t hire you, and have fun explaining to new people why their kids are never allowed at your house.

    If he’s really into you, then he won’t mind waiting to date you when it’s legal. It’s only a year or two. I know that seems forever when you are in love, but considering humans are living 100+ years on the regular now, it’s a drop in the bucket.

  3. Yankydoodledoo~♥ says:

    my parents have 7 years age gap and they’re doing fine…
    anyway, you’re still young
    adolescents are prone to moodswings
    the person you like today may not be the person you like tomorrow
    take your time and don’t make haste
    just enjoy the feeling

  4. Dave says:

    I suspect that his parents disapprove for some reason other than age gap.

    DO send the letter.

    What you need most to understand though is that long-distance relationships never work. And no, there are no exceptions to that.

    If you are super into him then remain friends with him and plan to attend college near him so you two can officially then be bf/gf.

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