I have been in a relationship for eight months with my girlfriend. I have not felt the same since we got back from summer vacation. It started like most relationships, and we had our “honeymoon” phase. But that only lasted halfway through the summer. When we got back to school, things suddenly changed.
I have begun to notice the things she does wrong. Suddenly we can not go a week without arguing at least once. I can admit that 50% is me being an instigator, and no argument needs to happen. But the other 50% really upsets me, especially when she tells me that it’s nothing to be upset about.
For example: she will constantly find something wrong with me. I mess up speaking, she points it out. I mess up helping her with homework, she says, “I thought you said you were good at math.”
Honestly, I get that they are little things, but constant small attacks can begin to destroy a person. I don’t know what to do.
Side-note: whenever my girlfriend and I are in a rough patch, I start thinking about my ex and how she would be in certain issues. I keep comparing them.
What should I do? I have been so torn lately and just need some type of help.
3 thoughts on ““Her constant small attacks are destroying me””
You may be incompatible and need to move on. For future relationships don’t compare your current significant other to ex’s. People tend to over romanize them in their heads.
Like the previous comment says, you guys may just not be compatible. But have you tried communicating with her about it? Have you tried pointing out these small attacks to her and telling her how they make you feel?
I have a really dry sense of humor and grew up in a household where nitpicking at each other was the norm and had no idea how much that same kind of nitpicking was eating away and upsetting my guy friend until he told me about it (YEARS later). I felt really bad because it honestly hadnt occurred to me how much of what I said to him was just backhanded compliments and Ive tried to be better since then.
If youre not ready to end things try talking to her about her attitude rather than fantasizing about the past.
Discuss your feelings with her. You need to tell her what you think she is doing wrong and how it makes you feel. She may be doing this because she is unhappy about something in her life so open up a discussion about it. If she doesn’t stop harassing you, your relationship just may not be working anymore.