Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years. Our anniversary is the end of February. We have had some major problems, I have bipolar disorder and used to get really mad and even yell at him over stupid shit. I wouldn’t call it abuse, but it definitely wasn’t nice. He stole money from a friend’s grandmother. His friend not mine. He got mad over a Facebook post and left for four days and wouldn’t tell me where he went. He told me 6 months later that he cheated on me.
That was a year ago. I stayed because I love him and I honestly feel that he will try to be better and so far he has. He has been honest with me this far. He told me the night he stole the money, he told me about cheating. I never had to find anything out from someone other than him. It’s been a rocky road. I want to marry him despite all of the stuff I just wrote. I love him and I trust that he is doing all he can to be a better person.
My real problem. My mom. When I would get mad and yell at him she would get mad at me. Tell me that I needed to treat him right. I knew that of course. I had a mental problem that I have gotten mostly under control. I stopped yelling and stopped that back handed comments that were frankly just rude. But after all the drama and bullshit in our relationship, and my mom’s constant disappointed looks and statements, I have a hard time talking to her about my relationship with him. I love him. She doesn’t get it. She thinks I’m doing the same thing my oldest brother did. Marrying a person who is a gold digger and frankly my sister-in-law is a psychopath. But my relationship is so different from my brother’s. I don’t stay for kids. We have none. I don’t stay for drugs. We don’t use them. I’m not being abused and he isn’t getting my horrible attitude thrown in his face. My brother and his wife were constantly fighting, physically too.
Last week I found out that she is talking to my ex, who I left because he would never work, would leave me and start fights whenever he was asked to do any chore. He even yelled at my nephew on his birthday. Told him that nobody cared. I was livid. I left 2 weeks later. She told him that my fiance is the reason I left home. It’s not. It was all the fighting and drama with my brothers and my nephews. Mom has full custody of my brothers kids. I left and we moved in with his dad for a month until we went to stay with a mutual friend til we found our own place. My ex told her he is trying to get me back. He spent the last 2 years knocking up 2 girls and calling me a whore to everyone.
My mom told him my fiance is the reason I left and he’s not good for me. But I hate my ex. I messaged him using her account so she would know that I knew she was talking to him. Told him if he ever contacted me I would put him in the hospital. I said my bipolar was under control, not gone lol.
Anyway, me and my fiance started planning to get married and we set a date. I am so nervous to tell my mom. I don’t know what she will say but I’m sure it will be condescending. She’ll probably say she’s happy for me but it always sounds so superficial when she says it.