“I get nauseous every time we get sexual”

I need help. So I’ve been seeing this girl for months now and everything with her is perfect, until we get into the bedroom. Every time without fail anything gets even remotely sexual with her, I start to feel REALLY nauseous, to the point where I have on multiple occasions run off and had to throw up. It could be anything from fooling around on the couch, to even just lying next to her in bed.

We’re both virgins, but want to get into the more real stuff soon. I’m worried this will get in the way, and could use some advise. I’m a perfectly healthy person, and it is in fact rare for me to be ill or to throw up, so this is all really confusing for me. Might be worth mentioning I get this feeling when I’m with her in a restaurant too, and we’re just finishing food, a very sudden nausea feeling which I can’t ignore and am forced to run off quickly to the toilet.

3 thoughts on ““I get nauseous every time we get sexual”

  1. therapyinsdcom says:

    Firstly- the likelihood of this being a medical issue is low, however it’s always something to rule out. Have you spoken to a medical professional?

    The more probable answer would be anxiety- see, when we get nervous our brain reads this as danger. What happens then is that it tells us to freeze, fight or flight. The body readies itself to respond to this danger by shifting its focus to action and energy typically used for digestion also goes to making sure we can react. Nausea and diarrhea are common symptoms of acute anxiety; you may also notice sweating, your heart beating faster and/or harder, difficulty breathing, shakiness, dry mouth and a plethora of other physical responses.

    If it is indeed stress and you want to manage it, here is a good introductory website: https://www.mindtools.com/pages/main/newMN_TCS.htm

    Best of luck and let us know how things turn out!


    Karen Kerschmann, LCSW

  2. Anonymous says:

    As another virgin with a lot of anxiety—- that second comment is probably definitely whats going on with you. Ive only recently tried to hook up with someone and the nervousness damn near gave me a panic attack before we ever even got anywhere. I didnt eat or sleep for close to a week from nerves. Ive had so much anxiety that we still havent done anything (2 months later).

    Take things very slow. Talk to her about this if you havent already.

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