I recently was going through my boyfriend’s external hard drive (we’ve been together for 5 years on and off). I first found a bunch of videos and pictures of all of his exes he had kept. I then found a few he recorded of them that they obviously didn’t know were being filmed.

It made me stick to my stomach. I dug a little more and found a video where he had done the same thing to me. I made copies of everything and deleted them off his external drive. He now knows I know everything and is trying to apologize and make it up to me.

When he did it, it was at the beginning of our relationship, and he swears he would never do it again. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if all the tears and trying to kiss my ass are because he truly gets how upset and disgusted I am (it’s to the point that things trigger me and I can’t stop shaking and crying), or if he is really just trying to make things right, because he knows I can turn him in to the police.

Please, I need some advice. I can’t talk to anyone about this because no matter what, it’s embarrassing, and if I do decide to stay, everyone will know and judge both of us. What do I do? He cries all the time and hasn’t been eating. I just don’t know his motivation.