So, me and my ex were together for about a year. He was starting to get concerned about some issues we had, and pretty much put us on a break. I practically begged him to stay with me, told him I was willing to do whatever it took to make things work, but still continued to get “I have to think about it.”
After being told that so many times, I felt like he didn’t want to be with me, and eventually came to conclusion that nothing I could say or do would help, and chose to break up with him. We didn’t speak to each other until 5 days later and have pretty much been decent since then.
For the most part it’s been good, he’s my best friend and I’m his, and we can’t not talk to each other, but it sucks because regardless of all we went through, I want to be with him. I’ve told him that to see if we could possibly work something out, but he feels that he’s not ready to make a serious commitment to me. So I told him that I couldn’t stay friends because I felt like it would make things harder, but he insists on it. So now we’re still texting/talking/facetiming all the time.
I’m happy to be in contact with him, but it makes me miss him more. I feel like agreeing to being friends is only halfway letting go of us, if that makes sense. In all honesty I don’t want to let go. I still want to be with him, and I feel like he still wants me since he wants to stay close. So I guess what I’m wanting to know is, do I still have a chance with him, or am I just giving myself false hope?
Become busy. Actually busy. Exercise, take classes you have always wanted to, find a part time job, work on art work, plant a fall garden, read, ect. You get the point. You need time to heal and chatting him up won’t do it.
I disagree that staying friends is only halfway letting go.
Staying friends is 100% NOT LETTING GO AT ALL. If you’re not ready to let go, then I don’t think anything anyone on the internet says will convince you otherwise.
Sure, there’s a chance he might come around. Sure, there’s a chance you might get back together. However, there’s a reason he broke up with you, and that reason probably won’t go away even if he does decide to take you back.
Here’s a blog post I wrote a few years back. I think it might be worth a read:
http://musingsonlifeandlove.com/2010/03/18/the-bane-of-friendship/