I’ve been meeting up with a girl on and off for a year now. She’s 34 and I’m 22. She’s had bad experiences with men before me – her ex tried drowning her. She loved him, cheated on him, and continues to love him. She has two kids to him and a third to another man. Her daughter was diagnosed with cancer. She doesn’t drive I do so help out with appointments, etc., recently driving 120 miles a day for 3 weeks. She told me she isn’t interested in a relationship, but continues to text and meet me when she’s had a drink. She says I’m 22, and tells me to enjoy myself. She says she isn’t interested in anyone apart from me, and won’t hold me back. I love her and believed her, and if she knew I was seeing a girl, it didn’t stop her from cracking on with me when the notion took her. She says things she shouldn’t, making me think that she loves me.
Two weeks ago, she heads on a night out. Her daughter just had a tumor removed, and I am driving her to and from the hospital everyday. That night, she doesn’t text me like she usually does, so during the week, I make a joke about her meeting a man. She tells me that my brain is doing overtime. The following week, she’s out again. I tell her that my mate saw her out with a man (this is a lie – my mate didn’t see her at all). She agrees she was with someone, and said it was only their second date and that she has nothing to hide. She won’t tell me details on the first date, but I believe it was a day that we kissed on the drive home from the hospital. I tell her I love her, and that this isn’t wise seeing her all the time. She just agrees with me, adding that she’s grateful for everything I have done for her. She doesn’t show much emotion unless she’s had a drink. I’m left feeling confused, used, and dirty.
She has made a fool of me – why doesn’t she seen to care? Yet, sometimes she does. Why didn’t she try keeping a friendship with me instead of just accepting everything I said? I dunno if she’s gonna come running back she to me like she has before. I feel cheated – have I been?