Hi, I wonder what you would do??
My wife and I had a baby three weeks before Christmas. By Christmas day, we were both at the end of our tethers, which resulted in me having a massive fight with my family while my wife was there. Although it is all sorted now, my mum’s partner — for the second time — threatened to kill me and called our baby very rude names.
He has a history of violence, and we have not spoken since. However, my wife went to visit my mum today, and he was there (my wife didn’t know until she got there). She stayed for an hour and left. She doesn’t want to be near him anymore, and I don’t want to see him either.
How do I tell my mum this without starting another row? What would you do?
LemonVibe 
I think your priority should be to your wife and child. Their safety and security is more important. Tell your mum what the problem is and leave it to her to sort out. It’s her partner that has the problem. She should deal with it.
Get out of there. Your mom’s partner is clearly very toxic and you owe it to your child, your wife, and yourself to protect your own little family from that. Since you stated that he has a violent past, I’d be worried about your mom too… But if it’s going to cause a war to try and shake some sense into her, it might be best to let it be and just focus on your baby.