Apparently, the popularity of online dating has forced restaurants to change the way they do business.

In a nutshell, people linger for too damned long when they’re on a date with someone they meet on the internet. All they can hope for is that customers will spend more and at least buy expensive drinks in an effort to impress their dates.

Then again, I think I would totally enjoy the sweet, delicious schadenfreude that comes with watching a first-date train wreck unfold in real time. You know it’s gotta happen, right?