“My boyfriend hasn’t cheated, but I can’t stop checking his phone”

I have been with my boyfriend for three-and-a-half years now. He is beyond perfect for me. He’s always there, he’s so romantic, and I know he loves me. I’m his first girlfriend.

I have been cheated on and hurt in the past, and I still have my guard up, but my boyfriend doesn’t even show interest in other girls, and always makes me feel special and tells me how pretty I am, and it does make me feel amazing. But whenever I see him talk to someone else or add someone on Facebook, I get extremely jealous, and it always turns into an argument!

After being together for thee years, I found out he was talking to another woman he worked with via text A LOT, but always deleted messages, so I never saw anything. Once I found out about it, he cut her off and has been trying very hard with me ever since. But he works with this woman.

I feel uncomfortable every single morning he leaves to go to work, and I do not trust him even though he hasn’t actually done anything. It’s getting me down, and I feel miserable all the time worrying about what he is up to. I constantly check his phone because I’m paranoid now, and I don’t know what to do. I love him, and he’s so good to me.  I don’t want to lose him, but it’s not fair on either of us anymore.

2 thoughts on ““My boyfriend hasn’t cheated, but I can’t stop checking his phone”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Stop doing it.

    You either trust him or you don’t. By constantly monitoring his phone and getting jealous of interactions with other women, it seems like you don’t. At least from his perspective.

    If you’re concerned about him hiding texts from other women because you would be jealous and fight him, is it possible that the precedent has been set that you go a little crazy when it comes to his relationships with other women?

    Just stop it.

  2. Meg says:

    Since you’re sure he isn’t cheating you have to ask yourself why your self esteem is so low that you don’t believe he is so lucky to have someone as special as you! If you want this to last and him respect you, believing in yourself and how good you are together needs to be your focus. Be secure in knowing it would be foolish of him to do anything to jeopardize your relationship. He is going to talk to women and that can’t be controlled. What can be is your belief in yourself and your value. If he does cheat then feel secure in you as an individual who deserves someone who will value you as much as you value yourself. And know if he does cheat, it is not you, it is something lacking in his character.
    When you doubt him and want to look, ask yourself did he do something to deserve doubt, or are you again doubting your self worth.

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