“My ex and I are still best friends”

My ex and I are best friends, and they’re the only person i ever dated. They told me they still cared about me a couple of times, and I still care about them.

Is it bad to do that and still be really close? We’ve been asked if we got back together, because of hugs and sort-of hand-holding (but not exactly walking around or leaving them at our sides). Not to mention that all the flirtatious behavior from our relationship still spills around, like joking winks or getting pretty close in the personal space (not that I’m complaining, let’s be honest), to the point that I thought they were trying to kiss me the other day.

With all this, I just don’t know what to do. Like, do I bring it up and talk about our feelings, if it still seems like they’re being really touchy with me? Or should I just try to get over them and their new-found friendly affection?

I don’t mind it — it just fills me with an almost overly optimistic hope about “us” one day being a thing again, and I can finally just say yes to all the people asking. Whenever they would ask, they’d act so sorry (they dumped me), like, “Christ, this again wow.”

And just … I don’t know, a lot of mixed feelings. This is way too long, sorry. I’ll shush and stop trying to explain with so many details.

2 thoughts on ““My ex and I are still best friends”

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    I’m not sure why you’re making such an effort to keep the genders vague on your question. You’re only making your blurb really hard to understand. Is revealing whether you’re a guy or a girl, or whether your ex is a guy or a girl, going to reveal your identity?

    Come on.

    Having said that, it sounds to me like you’re holding onto some hope that you and your ex will get back together. And it sounds to me like your ex enjoys the enjoy they still get from you.

    It doesn’t sound to me like your ex is interested in getting back together.

    So if I’m right, can you handle still being friends with your ex?

  2. Matthew says:

    Dennis is absolutely on the right track here. From what I gathered, since you stated your Ex broke up with you, they are trying to keep you on the metaphorical leash; keep you interested and close enough so you’re there should they feel the need to come back to you.

    I wouldn’t hold out for declarations of love and affection anytime soon from them.

    So…the question does come down to whether you can handle continuing to be JUST friends with your Ex. If you can, I think you need to take a little initiative to put a stop to all of the things you do that give off the impression you two may be back together. You’ve already experienced that it’s confusing your friends; but it will also make it harder for you to meet someone else, and move on.

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