“I wish my boyfriend were more romantic”

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven or so months now. We met when I was at a bad time (still am) in my life, and he’s continuously helped me push through it. I’m forever grateful for that. He’s a good young man with a lot of heart, and I care about him deeply.

Now, I know that it isn’t my job to change him, but to be frank, I do wish he was more romantic. He told me he’s been “burned” by a lot of girls, so that might be a factor. It’s just the little things. He’ll say something sweet to me and then follow it up with something inappropriate about my body, like how great my boobs are. Or when I ask him what he’s thinking about, he replies with “your boobs,” or “how hot that mouth is,” or he’ll randomly lick my face when he leans into kiss me.

We don’t go on many dates either, because he’s busy with work or his hobby of paintball. I don’t expect much in life, because that’s how I was raised, but every once in a while, it’d be nice to go on a nice date or get a sweet text message or get told how he feels without him ruining the moment.

Is it just me? Am I asking for too much? I want to communicate how I feel without seeming like I’m nagging him or trying to start an argument. And don’t get me wrong, he does do nice things for me, so maybe I just need to accept the nice things he does do for me as his form of romance.

One thought on ““I wish my boyfriend were more romantic”

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    No, you’re not asking for too much. At the same time, you can’t expect him to change, if this is just how he is. Different people have different levels of romance that they need. Some need a ton, others don’t need anything at all.

    It sounds like you’re trying to figure out what level of romance is “normal” or “abnormal” in this case, or what would be “acceptable” in a relationship. And if that’s the case, you have to accept that everyone is different, and there is no right or wrong here.

    The bottom line is that the two of you apparently have very different ways of showing your affection for each other. As such, I’d say what you have to figure out isn’t in how to get him to be more romantic, but whether or not you’re okay with the way he is.

    Seven months is just about the right amount of time to be figuring this out, anyway. So, if you’re not okay with what he gives you, it’s probably time to move on.

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