He stayed out all night…no call..did he cross the line?

So I’ll make this short as my story has been going on 12 years. Im 34 with 4 kids under 12. My BF of 12 years and I have had many problems off and on but in 2012 to decided to start over with a clean slate. We decided to rent a house together in Jan 2014 after living in a crappy 2 bedroom apt. Fast forward 2 months and he started smoking Pot again…I despise it and he knows it…he is retarded on it and remembers nothing of our conversations. We have not been intimate for over a year..frankly Im disgusted with his habits. He has been verbally and mentally abusive and has always been controlling. Dec of 2015 he got a DUI and stayed in jail overnight. He was forbidden to go out drinking until he paid his mom back the money he borrowed for impound. Last week he tried driving kids to school high…who knows how many times he has successfully gotten away with it considering I work nights. Last night he didn’t come home but got drunk at friends house. No call or anything!! I busted him commenting on some womens pics on facebook. I am not a jealous person by any means and I trust until given a reason not to but this BOY is flipping 35 years old!! Im seriously considering trying to leave again. Only problem is I have zero family up here to help…his family viciously turned on me before and I definitely do not trust them. Am I over reacting here? My friends said he crossed a major line! I agree but worry because of kids. Help!

4 thoughts on “He stayed out all night…no call..did he cross the line?

  1. resullins says:

    [I would say you are categorically UNDER-reacting. This man is endangering his children! That is not a man you want in your life. And this is absolutely a man that will drag you down with him.

    Let’s go through this together:
    He’s verbally and emotionally abusive
    You’ve been “on and off” for 12 years. You know there’s a reason for that. A reason you’re apparently ignoring.
    You’re both in your early to mid 30’s, and yet you spent HOW long in a “crappy two bedroom apartment” with 4 kids?!?!?! So he’s obviously not financially secure. And I would guess it has something to do with the fact that he can’t hold down a decent job, can he?
    He got a DUI (I understand making a mistake), and then proceeded to drive your kids to school HIGH?!?!?!
    You haven’t been intimate in a year.
    He stays out all night without calling you.

    Which part of the above screams “loving significant other and father” to you? Honey… there’s not one single reason to stay with this man. There’s not a redeeming feature in the lot. You’ve answered your own question, you don’t need advice from us. Get on your own two feet. Whether that means moving to where your family is, getting on assistance, whatever… get some help and get out of this mire you’ve gotten so comfortable in.

  2. Dan says:

    [This is simple and you seem like you probably know what I’m about to say…

    Leave him and move near your family as soon as you can. This situation isn’t worth saving. Good luck and move quickly!!

  3. Dennis Hong says:

    [A friend of mine who’s an MFT just pointed out that you can lose your kids for child endangerment if this continues. Someone is bound to report them for being driven while drunk/high.

  4. nightowl says:

    [DITCH THIS GUY!!!!! Seriously! He hasn’t just crossed a major line he has crossed MANY lines. Repeatedly. You know deep down this isn’t working and hasn’t been working for some time. I hate to have to point out the obvious – but this guy does not care about you or your kids enough to get his shit together. Do what you have to do to make sure that you and your kids have the life you deserve. I know it sucks when you have to end a relationship with someone you care about, especially the father of your kids. But staying with this loser who treats you like shit and constantly disregards how you feel sucks more. Actions speak louder than words. He might say he loves you but he doesn’t show it.
    Listen to your gut. Listen to your friends and family. Listen to everyone here. Get the fuck out!!!!!!!!!

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