How to keep your mind off your love interest while you wait for them to come back?

For the last few weeks or so, I’ve been talking to this girl I was introduced to through a mutual friend of mine. We both kind of hit it off immeadiately as well because in a lot of ways both of us were so similar. We both had the same sexual priorities, we both wanted to move and go to to college in the same state after we graduate, we’re both sophomores in high school, and in a lot of ways we’re both able to support and encourage each other to do things and succeed in ways no one else can do for us.

But what I didn’t know after she flirted with me and led me on was that she had a boyfriend. Normally right then and there I would’ve just dropped her but the connection I felt with her was so indescribably vivid and real that I didn’t want to just drop her because I would probably never find someone else like her in a 1000 years.

Plus it didn’t seem like she was just flirting with me to lead me on to nowhere for her own amusement. She just didn’t seem like that kind of person. If she was she would’ve gotten sick of my constant emotional issues and always trying to make me happy because I’m usually pretty pessimistic. So I continued to talk with her every day as much as I could. On the last day I spoke with her, I asked her why she flirted with me even though she had a boyfriend. She said, ‘To be honest with you, our relationship isn’t that stable.’

I asked her how so, but she didn’t want to talk about it so I respecte that ofc. Then a couple hours later after she suddenly stopped responding to me and then came back, I asked her where she had went. She said she had just got off the phone with her boyfriend. And when I asked how it went, she said she didn’t want to talk, so I just gave her some space.

A couple days later she deactivated her account on the messaging platform we used to talk to each other, and I haven’t seen her since. It will have been a week since I’ve seen her tomorrow cause this happened last Sunday (1/17/16) but she deleted her account on Tuesday (1/19/16).

Anyway, after she had deactivated, naturally, I was heartbroken and upset. I thought she understood me, I thought she understood and cared more about how emotionally sensitive I am than the average person is more than anyone I had ever met, so when she left, you can imagine how much pain it wrought on me.

I went to the same mutual who introduced us to each other for advice. She said I shouldn’t worry about her not coming back because she’s apparently deactivated before but always comes back so when she told me that I wasn’t really angry anymore, but I was definitely still hurt.

So yeah, in short I’ve just been spending the last few days since she’s left (including today) crying over her being gone and worrying about not seeing her again. I know it would take time, but like, the problem is that I can’t stop thinking about her. The feelings I have for her are real and more intense then they have been for anyone else. Usually with people in general my feelings are always intense but in this case its more than usual.

But I know I need to get her off my mind until she comes back, so this brings me to my question described: how do I let go of her? How do I get her off my mind until she comes back when all I can think about is her and how much I want to talk to her again?

3 thoughts on “How to keep your mind off your love interest while you wait for them to come back?

  1. Dennis Hong says:
    Dennis Hong's avatar

    [This is going to be blunt, but I think it’s what you need:

    You’re, what, 16? That means that you have a ton of hormones — brand new hormones that your body isn’t used to — coursing through you. And they’re going to fuck with your emotions big-time. I remember when I was 16. I remember what it was like to feel that intense love — or what I thought was love — for the very first time. And I remember how uncontrollable it was, and how real it felt. I remember thinking how I would never feel as strongly for someone ever again.

    And I feel like a dumbass today for ever believing that.

    All I can say is, you’ll get over it. This girl was messing with you, and you need to accept that. Don’t romanticize it, don’t make it out to be more than what it was. Because it wasn’t anything. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll be able to move on.

    Believe me, we’ve all been there. We all remember our first infatuation. We all remember how intense it was, and then we all smack ourselves in the forehead for believing it was real. You’re not there yet. But trust me, you’ll get there one day.

  2. resullins says:
    resullins's avatar

    [Yeah… this is one of those times where I hate to play the I’m-the-older-and-wiser-adult card… but I’m going to do it anyway. Dennis is right. 100%. This is not the be-all and end-all of your romantic life. This girl is exactly as confused as you are, so I can’t blame her for leading you on any more than I can blame you for pursuing her.

    Let it go. I swear, you will absolutely find someone that understands you as well as this girl does. You don’t even fully understand yourself at this age. Your brain doesn’t even fully develop until you’re around 25. Your wants, needs, sexual preclusion, everything, will change with time. And the person you think you are now will become completely unrecognizable to you in time. And so will this girl.

    Give it time. That’s all that’s needed here. Time. She will fade, and you will understand.

  3. Anonymous says:
    Unknown's avatar

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