Will I be any good at this?

Okay… Well. I’ve kinda been saving myself for after highschool, because the one thing I would hate to happen is for me to get pregnant or some type of STD or something without at least a highschool diploma in my hands… So, I’ve stayed away from boys. Now, I always flirt with dudes. I don’t know how or why… But it just happens, it’s kind of natural. But anything more than a hug, just. doesn’t. happen.
Now, I’ve had little bfs and stuff before, but nothing that I think could ever really count as any experience. I’ve never had sex. Like any kind. Ever. But I read A LOT about it. Just because it’s something I’m curious about. I haven’t kissed a guy in like… you know, it’s been so long I don’t even know. So I’ve never had a real kiss… a real boyfriend… a real anything. Anyways… I’m almost about to graduate, and I’ll basically be a complete virgin to the world. No sex XP, no kissing XP. All I’ve done is read stuff about how to do something or watched videos (not porn, that stuff is just… I can’t deal.) Like… I can’t even use tampons, because they hurt like FUCKKKKK. How will I ever be ready for the ‘D’?
But anyways… I don’t know if I’ll be ready for someone when the time comes, or if they’ll be ready for me. I can’t think of any dude ever who will have any kind of patience for a girl who doesn’t know how to do SHIT. What should I do? Will I be any good at this? Or did am I really not a virgin at all because I fucked myself by not getting any experience? Sorry for the long story 😛

3 thoughts on “Will I be any good at this?

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    [Okay, let’s get some things straight:

    1. Making it through high school with your virginity intact isn’t something to be ashamed of. I hate to pull the “kids these days” line, but… what the hell are kids these days doing in high school?!?

    Wait, maybe you shouldn’t answer that.

    But seriously, plenty of people save themselves for when they’re ready. And if you don’t feel ready while you’re still in high school, just own it. There’s zero shame in being a virgin. And besides, *not* having sex in high school is… well, more likely to be a good thing than a bad thing.

    2. The vast majority of guys (at least, the ones who’ll be worth dating) aren’t going to be concerned if you’re lacking in experience, whether at 18 or at 50. (Well, maybe a little at 50. But you’re not anywhere near 50. So I don’t think you have to worry about that quite yet.)

    Either way, there’s no shame in not having sexual experience. If it does concern you, you can always bring it up to someone you’re dating. Say something like, “Just so you know, I’ve been saving myself for when I’m ready. So if you do end up being the one, you may have to be patient with me.”

    And leave it at that. Don’t apologize for it. Don’t feel bad about it. In fact, if you say it that way, with a coy smile and a wink, I can pretty much guarantee that no guy will care whatsoever that you’re a virgin.

    Good luck!

    • Solstice says:

      [I didn’t kiss a guy until right before I graduated high school. I didn’t have sex until I was 24. I went through college hooking up with plenty of guys, but not actually having p in v sex. None of the guys were bothered by the fact that I was a virgin. I ended up losing my virginity to a guy who was a year older than me, who was also a virgin. Believe me, guys won’t care if you’re in college and a virgin. That happens all the time. Even post-college, guys won’t think of it as odd, or not want to be with you. Don’t rush into anything and enjoy it when the time comes!

  2. nightowl says:

    [Hi. OK so good on you first off. Don’t be ashamed you are a virgin – stand proud! I know what it’s like to be curious when there’s this big thing – like having sex – that you haven’t done, and it feels like you are the only one in the world who is still a virgin sometimes. I waited for ages until I first had sex – I was 28 when I lost my virginity to a guy! I had actually had a girlfriend for 5 years at the time and this guy made the moves on me and things just happened naturally (we were all involved). What I’m trying to say is that only you will know when it’s the right time and right person – and then it will just unfold naturally – just like what happens when you flirt with guys. Trust me – you won’t need to worry that you won’t know what to do. If you make sure that you are ready for it in every way – you actually like the guy, you respect him, the feeling is mutual, you’re really into each other, you have time to relax and take your time – all of that stuff – then your body will take care of the rest for sure. And as for the guy, I think it’s a pretty big compliment to say to someone – hey I want you to be the one, so if they are a decent sort of person they will get that and will know how to be patient and take it slow to make it a good experience for both of you. I also had a hard time using tampons and I still don’t use them, I think they are just not a great idea for some women. The thing is, the difference between a tampon and a penis (aside from the obvious of course!) is really to do with you and your state of mind. To put it bluntly – for one of those things – if everything is going well – you are really relaxed and into it, you have taken your time and enjoyed the foreplay part, then by the time he enters you, your body will have made things wet so it’s comfortable…the same doesn’t apply for a tampon! Someone that cares about you will love to take the time to make you ready, it’s part of the fun. It’s so cool when you experience something for the first time and especially when you know it’s right. Now is the time to rock this shit (if and when you are ready) so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there if you really like someone – don’t let being a virgin hold you back! I know heaps of guys who would be stoked to be with a virgin! Don’t drop the ball now though – make sure it’s on your terms – trust your instincts and you will have a blast when the time comes.

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