Lonely and probably stupidly hopeful. Some advice would be nice.

So I’m young, 18 to be honest. I had one very serious relationship before this, fully sexual (excessively sexual actually, but I wasn’t complaining) and ever since that ended, most other relationships have gone to complete shit rather quickly, both at my fault and theirs. I’ve been quite unlucky since my first score to be honest. However, now I find myself in an odd position. Everyone’s going to college, I myself am not. Why am I not, you may ask? First of all because I’m aware college is not a wish fulfillment factory. Second, I’m a musician/actor, and have already had a decent enough success to have a shot at making it, and I have recently had an amazing opportunity thrown at my feet that could shoot my into a record deal. However, I have, through all this character building and freedom, missed out on the best part of college…
Girls. Cause let’s face it, what’s life without them if you’re a straight guy? (Lots and lots of masturbating. Which I’ve already figured out.)
So here now is the actual question. How do I remedy this? Unlike most of my peers, I haven’t been thrown into a social pot where we’re all forced to see each other. I can hide in my cave if I want to. Well this sucks, cause to be honest it’s going on two years now that I’ve been alone and fuck it I’m lonely. I would like someone to share this shit with, and to cuddle with, and to have sex with, but currently aside from a sex doll my options are limited. So… got any advice for me on this dating scene? I skipped out on the four bumper years of college sadly and got straight into the mandibles of life, but I still like college girls (and who the hell doesn’t?), so some help with this dilemma would be great.
Part 2 (didn’t see that coming did you?)
On top of this, there is a girl. She’s freaking gorgeous, her humor is perfectly dry, and she’s so smart it scares me. AKA, perfect. I also think she might have similar feelings, because while I may be a hell of a lot smoother than I once was, I’m still a general broadcaster of my affections, and also I pretty much told her so by offering to pay for her ticket to EDC (electric daisy carnival) so I can go with her. I’m not stupid, she’s not the only option I’m limiting myself to. She has no reason to limit herself to me at the moment, and I have no reason to expect that, and I myself have no reason to limit myself. However, we’re at a pretty flirty stage of the game. I’ve gotten here before. Here is where I trip up. So here’s where advice would be great. She goes to school five hours or so away, which is a problem. She’s also older by two years, which for some reason our society thinks that if the vagina is older than the penis the world will end (which I hope she doesn’t come to that conculsion) aside from those two obstacles were both musicians and both (I’d like to think anyway) thinkers, contemplaters and fairly intelligent. So the question here is how do I approach this to make it grow? (Withhold your penis jokes please.) I’m also a shit texter by the way. I get distracted to easily by what I’m doing. But yeah. Basically I’ve met many girls, but none as wonderful strange as this one, and whatever chance in hell I have with her I want to keep. So yeah, any sage words of advice?

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5 thoughts on “Lonely and probably stupidly hopeful. Some advice would be nice.

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    [Hey, I’m guessing that was a shout-out to me…. 🙂

    To answer the first part of your question, I think there are a ton of activities that you can participate in to meet women. Truthfully, you’re probably never going to get the chance to meet as many women as you would if you went to college, but hey, that doesn’t mean there aren’t alternatives.

    Do you have any hobbies or interests? Is there anything new you want to take up? Running? Organized sports? Gaming? Community service? Man, there are so many things out there that you can do. And the best part is, when you meet someone through one of these activities, you already have something in common. So, there’s a conversation starter right there.

    As for your second question… I’m gonna be blunt. Any time you refer to someone as “perfect,” that is an immediate red flag. Look, no one is perfect. And if you think this girl is, then you’re probably idolizing her in some way. And that’s never a healthy way to start anything. To that end, my suggestion would be to think about what you can offer her. That’s great that you think she’s so awesome. So, why should she think you’re awesome. Her being perfect for you is no reason for her to want to be with you. So think about how you can be perfect for her instead.

    Speaking of which, I do have one specific suggestion right now: tone down the creepy sexual comments (i.e., how much you masturbate, sex dolls, the vagina being older than the penis, the fact that no one would probably have even thought to make a penis joke where you admonished people not to). Because those will definitely NOT get you a girl.

    Good luck!

    • Sonata101 says:

      [Yeah it was a shout out out to you lol. As far as the creepy sexual stuff goes, tis just my personal humor and always has been. I know when to turn it down. If it creeps some people out, that’s their issue.
      The rest of your advice is quite helpful. With the perfect thing, that’s a word I over use a lot. With the idolizing I wouldn’t say that I do but I’m a poet and so on so my mind tends to work in grandiose, stupidly romantic phrases. I’ll work on that though.
      All in all thanks for the advice, and while trying to rate your comment helpful I accidently did the opposite and I have no idea how to fix that… so sorry about that. All in thanks man.

    • Dennis Hong says:

      [No worries. I can live with the -5.

      That’s perfectly fine if you know how to tone down the creepy humor. But keep in mind that reputations spread, and word gets around. When you act a certain way and say certain things to one person, and act a different way and say differents thing to someone else, people tend to figure it out after a while, and it will only make them suspicious.

      Of course, if you don’t care if others get creeped out by you, that’s your prerogative. But, you’re asking for advice on how to meet women, and I hope you realize that the behavior you’re describing can only hurt you in the long run.

  2. nightowl says:

    [Hi,
    OK, so firstly….good on you for doing what you want and not just going to college because everyone else is. You should probably just stop comparing yourself to your peers and let it go. Actually let ALL that stuff go – your first serious relationship (which you are probably comparing everything to) and all the shitty ones after that. Clean slate – this is the choice you made. So what if you could have met heaps of girls at college – isn’t being a musician a pretty good industry to meet girls?! The way you meet girls in college is kinda the same as the way you meet girls when you are not in college – as Dennis says – what are you interested in, what do you like doing? People who are not in college still go out, we don’t just hide away from the world in our own caves. You are 18 not 80….! Just get out there. What about friends of friends? What about your friends who did go to college – can’t they introduce you to a few people? I know being single sucks when you want to be in a relationship – but make the most of it. When you are dating someone, there will all of a sudden be someone else’s needs and concerns you need to take into consideration along with your own. Be happy where you are now….girls can smell the desperation and sense that I’m-sick-of-masturbating-vibe you’re giving out….!
    On to part 2…I dunno if you really need help meeting girls if you have already met this perfect girl, who sounds very cool. So, you have made it clear you are interested in her and you think the feeling is mutual. Great start. I’m curious though – why would the perfect girl not be the only one you are concerning yourself with? If she is perfect I don’t get why you still feel the need to look around and keep your options open. I’d say the reason you both have to limit yourselves is that you are keen on each other…isn’t that the whole point?! Who cares if she lives 5 hours away, no big deal if she is perfect. And ditto for the age gap – totally irrelevant. All that matters is what you both feel – and I think society probably cares a lot less than you think anyway. My sister just married a 24 year old guy 10 years younger than her.
    So how to make this grow? I would make it clear you are interested in her – only. If I was her, I would want to know you were not still out there fishing around. If you are a shit texter – maybe just talk on the phone instead. Basically do what it takes to make it work – or maybe she isn’t the one? Perfect girls are usually worth a bit of effort! So what if she lives 5 hours away, isn’t it better to see an awesome girl a few times a month or whatever, than be in the situation you are in now? And if you try it and the long distance thing sucks – well break up. You have to actually discuss it anyway or get it moving in that direction. Do you know if she wants to be in a relationship? You will never know unless you give it a shot. If she’s worth it you will find a way to be with her. Good luck.

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