How do I get a date, or phone number, from a complete stranger?

We’re all familiar with this particular scenario (or one like it):

You’re at the grocery store picking up some fresh produce for your homemade marinara sauce (because we all make our own pasta sauce) when you look up and dent-free tomatoes are no longer able to maintain your focus.

Trapped in your scope is an absolutely stunning woman (or for you ladies, handsome man). For no reason what-so-ever your breath has been stolen. You coyly approach the person and pretend you didn’t see them there and “accidentally” run into their shopping cart.

Conversation begins as you apologize for being so clumsy and continue your banter based on items I noticed in her/his cart.

Both of you have quirky, yet non-threatening, friends that approach and aids in the now flirtatious endeavors.

You exchange numbers, go on a your first date, fall in love, get married, and now have an interesting story to tell your children.

Well…that’s at least how it works out according to 1 out of 20 movies released by Hollywood; more if you count Direct-to-Video titles.

It doesn’t necessarily happen that way in real life; or at least in my life. I’ve never been one to “force” conversation with someone I see while out running errands. I typically need to have a reason to approach someone and begin a conversation (a legitimate one).

So, this my question to you:
How do you strike up conversation with someone you otherwise technically have no existing reason to talk to?

I’ve often heard of people meeting at various stores, coffee shops, gyms, etc., and somehow by the end of, what could have been no more than, a 5 minute conversation phone numbers are exchanged.

I am not the idea of finding something common to talk about to get the ball rolling. Some examples being:

-Comment on the book they are reading
-Ask them for advice on a workout/fitness program
-Comment on a particular item they seem to be thinking about buying

A lot of times it comes to paying attention to the details around you (and them).

But take all of that out of the equation and consider this:

What if the only factor that has you interested is based purely on a physical attraction level, and perhaps limited exposure to their personality (over hearing a conversation or extremely limited interaction)?

Say, you find the barista at your local coffee shop cute and want to ask for their number. You have only the that limited interaction to work with. Aside from trying to establish yourself as a regular over time, what “tactics” would you use?

Wow, I really hope this all made sense. If it doesn’t, feel free to kick me.

5 thoughts on “How do I get a date, or phone number, from a complete stranger?

  1. AKchic says:

    [Being female, I’ve seen quite a bit. I’ve had inmates tell me that as soon as they get out of jail, they are going to take me out on a date (while I’m clearly about to give birth I’m so pregnant, and married). I’ve had idiots at work hit on me and ask for my number/date and tell me that they are sober for x number of days (dude, you’re here for an assessment to get treatment, and I’m clearly wearing a ring – no chance in hell).
    Then there is the bar, parent nights at school (yep, with the kids right there), parks, stores, malls, etc.

    It doesn’t matter if you’re smooth, suave and classy. Dorky, awkward and shy. Be honest, that’s it. Walk up and say “look, I think you’re cute/pretty/whatever (or mention what you find attractive, like her smile, eyes, cheeks, hair – just don’t mention her tits), would you like to go get coffee and chat?” If she says yes, then give her your number, and have her write down her digits. You’ll probably get turned down a few times (if not more), but you know what – you’ll also get a few affirmatives.

    When I ask anyone out, I’m straight-forward. Sometimes too straight forward. But, I’m female, so I can tell a guy that I want to use him for a long one-night stand and not have to worry about talking to him again if I choose not to. Most guys seem to be understanding and relieved by my honesty. Some of the women, well… they aren’t as cool with my refreshing honesty.

    Good luck dude.

  2. Solstice says:

    [I had a flirtation for awhile with a guy in my local pizza shop, and we went out a couple of times. He started asking me things like “Did you just come from work?”, “What are you up to this weekend”, etc. whenever I was in the pizza place. Just asking simple questions like that, if you’re interested in someone, will open them up to talking to you. It’s easier if it’s someone that you see regularly though, like at a coffee shop or restaurant. As for someone you just see once randomly like in the supermarket or at the mall? That’s a tough one.

  3. Bonita says:

    [I agree that the best move is to be complimentary and honest. I just want to add that, at least for me, even if the answer is a “no,” being hit on or asked for my number always leaves me with a great positive jolt of confidence. So you should go for it, and rest assured that even if you don’t succeed you have probably made the girl feel better about herself!

  4. DavidIsGreat says:

    [I think confidence is key here. Just walk up to them and say, “hey, I just met you and this is crazy. But here’s my number.”

    They’ll call. Maybe

  5. azfavour says:


    hi. how are you doing there. my name is lonelyfavour. when i look your profile now.i was so much happy. with your profile that is why i write to you.let us be good friend.i will like you to use this my private email adress here
    ( and write to me.where you from and your age. and what you are doing presently as work. i will write to you back with my information where i live now and a lot of things about me . i will like to discuse this with you in personal. that is the reason why i need your email

    here is my private email adress (


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s