Fighting Through Inertia

So I’ve recently had a birthday, and am now closer to 30 than 20 which is pretty horrifying–single, no career plan figured out, etc. Now my life is by no means awful, and I know that–I have a job that I don’t totally hate (and sometimes even enjoy!) and pays my bills, great family and friends (some of whom live close enough that I can see pretty regularly), etc. But it seems like I’m just letting life lead me on (wake up for work, work, go home, sleep) rather than making active choices, following through with resolutions, improving myself, finding more happiness etc. I know it’s easier (and in my nature) to just go with the flow, but does anyone have suggestions in terms of helpful tips for avoiding this?

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5 thoughts on “Fighting Through Inertia

  1. Matt Sanchelli says:

    [Happy (late) Birthday…?

    I completely get where you’re at. I’m 31, single and not in a job position I want as a career. It can become easy to focus on those things because they are things we want “fixed”. It’s like a leaky faucet. You are constantly reminded that it’s broken by the drip-drip-drip, so you focus on the fact it needs “fixed”. The same applies then to aspects of our lives that we’re not happy with. To us, there are signs everywhere to remind us that something is “broken”.

    One good thing is that you do recognize the good things you have right now: job you don’t hate, friends, family, etc. That is good you are recognizing the positive going for you.

    From what you describe, it sounds like you just need to break the routine you seem to be stuck in. When you do the same thing day-after-day (wake up, work, home, sleep…repeat) the days tend to blend together and suddenly a month has gone by and you don’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything, other than reducing the queue in Netflix.

    What are some things you enjoy doing? Try to work those into your week and/or weekend. If you enjoy reading, go out to read somewhere once a week. If you’re living on a budget, you can get a small coffee and bagel at Panera for less than $4 and sit there for hours on free refills (I do not work for Panera…just happen to like them.)

    Do you have any pets? If not, are you in the position to adopt, or have any desire to have a pet? I recently adopted and taking him to the park, going on walks, just playing in the apartment…all have added more happiness to my life. Plus, we’ve met a lot of people (and dogs) at the park that we now see regularly.

    As for improving, or figuring out, your career path, that largely depends on what you think you want to do and then what steps you need to get there. Would it require continued education? Do you have anyone you can talk to in that field who could offer advise?

    All in all, try to become a ‘Yes’ person. If someone asks if you want to join them for something, even if you aren’t necessarily feeling up to it, go anyhow. You may end up enjoying yourself.

    Hopefully this helped a bit.

  2. AKchic says:

    [I think most people go through this at least once, but usually more than once. They get bored with their life. Thanks to media (movies/tv usually), we are told that we can not only have it all, but we are expected to WANT it all. We are never told exactly what ALL exactly is for us. In tv and the movies the characters seem to have an unlimited supply of money and a plotline to follow in order to follow their made-up dreams and end up finding what makes them happy. They are scripted. We, sadly, are not.

    As non-scripted adult human beings, we have responsibilities. The majority of us cannot just quit working to pursue whatever whimsy we think will mentally stimulate us into a false sense of fullfillment.
    You think you’re in a rut. Fine… you dug yourself into it, dig yourself out. Instead of going home and sitting on the couch until bedtime, do something different. Check out what opportunities you have in your area for evening classes. Cooking, art, cardio-kickboxing, whatver. Volunteer work, community outreach, something that will occupy you 1-2 nights a week for a few hours. 2 nights a week, get outside. Go walking, jogging, sledding, ice skating, mall walking, whatever. Just get out and do something. Go to the gym even. Start a 3-D puzzle or a regular puzzle while you’re watching your evening tv. Take up knitting or hand-looming. Make sure to get with a friend at least once every 7-14 days to visit in person. Visit an old-folks home.
    See – the ideas are endless. Lots of things to help you get out of your boredom rut, and might even help you find your “passion”.

  3. Solstice says:

    [I totally empathize with you! I’m 28 and single and not really satisfied with the way things are going, although I know I also can’t really complain and I’ve been lucky in life. I do really want a new job, but although the hours aren’t great and the pay is crappy, at least I have great coworkers. I have great family and friends as well, but I’m not happy with my social life lately – almost all of my friends in this area are engaged/married/in serious relationships/having babies. I seem to always be the one to suggest hanging out. I need something new myself. I’ve been looking for jobs in other areas but with no success yet. Moving to a new area is always rut-breaking. Is that something you would consider? I’ve joined a few hiking Meetup groups but have only gone on one hike so far. I’m going to start looking for other Meetup groups in the area to join, in order to meet new people and to get out and be social. I’m also going to start looking to some sort of class to take at night or some activity to participate in. I used to work until midnight some nights, but now the latest I work is 7 pm, so if I can find some class or activity that starts at 7:30 or 8, I’ll be good.

  4. Clueless says:

    [Solstice, I’m in a similar boat re friends–most of my closest ones are married or in serious relationships, and they sometimes tend to be on their own wavelength. Parker mentions being a “yes” guy, which I believe is good advice, but I feel like you do that I’m the one who always seems to be needing to bring things up…and I guess that’s kinda part of what I’m trying to figure out how to do. I agree that moving would be very rut-breaking, but that isn’t in the cards. During the summer I have a part-time job that I love that is area-specific, and I don’t want to lose out on that. The meetup groups idea is a good one though.

  5. lilredbmw says:

    [Quarter life crisis maybe? Easy fix. You have to take a leap. Just jump in to something. Go ahead. Do it. You know there is something that has peaked your interest at some point, so now is the time to pursue it. I always wanted to do a triathlon, but kept putting it off. I wasn’t ready, I didn’t have the time, I didn’t have the money, I didn’t know where to start. But one day, i just took that leap. And I entered my first triathlon and the rest is history. Now, my life is filled with new friends, new passions, new opportunities. But it won’t show up at your door. You will have to go get it. What do you have to lose? You aren’t getting any younger. Stop living your life as if you have another one in the bank. If you aren’t happy, take control and change it. Leap.

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