Alright – this blurb isn’t about love and the opposite sex!! Surprising for me since joining on here, I know!
My oldest friends, 15 years of friendships here are in jeopardy – and I need some advice.
I am the only single person in my group of friends, and this causes some tension when it comes to outings. I’m never invited to ‘ticketed’ events – concerts, ball games, tennis matches, what have you because its easier for 6 people , three couples, to go, then eat the cost of the 6th ticket and invite me. I am also never invited to nights in ( games nights etc) because of the odd number it causes. I also have a different work schedule then they do, as I’m typically not Monday-Friday. I have always made time to go visit them in their new houses, and new neighborhoods, and made a conscious effort to show up for important events. They do not do the same for me. Plans that I make with them out my way are always cancelled, or opted for closer to the majority, and my birthday is always an event that I celebrate mostly on my own, save a few other friends that aren’t from back in the day.
I have made it known I don’t appreciate the feeling of being ‘left out’ when it comes to events, or outings or weekends away simply because I’m just one person, and not a couple. My best friend insured me it had nothing to do with being single, just simply worked out that way that the couples end up doing stuff together.
My conversation with this gf was brought up when I heard that two of the couples were planning a trip to one of the guys time shares in the Dominican Republic. I asked my best friend if this was something open to all the friends as a fun trip away, or if it was only limited to couples. She said she was going to ask what the capacity was for the condo and then she would get back to me.
Fast forward to last week, and I have the time booked off and the money saved for the flight, and I find out they are leaving Sunday, and its all couples going, and I wasn’t even asked. 8 of my closest friends were leaving on a trip to the Dominican, and my best friend didn’t even think to mention it to me – didn’t even bring it up. I assumed that there was no room for more people (aside from the original 4) so I didn’t press the issue.
I found out that the couples were going on the Wednesday, and didn’t even say anything to my best friends – no Bon Voyage, no have fun, no nothing. I was so unbelievably insulted by the whole thing.
These people tell me that I don’t need a significant other to be happy or fulfilled in my life, yet they are the very same people who discriminate me because I can’t bring an ‘even’ number to the group.
How do I go about this? Do I bring it up? Do I just leave it alone? Is it worth a fight with my oldest friends, and possibly losing the people I spend most of my life with?
I know this all sounds so juvenile, but when it comes down to it, these people mean the most to me out of any of my friends, and I can’t help but feel left out and completely hurt about the whole situation.