The first time my boyfriend and I ever had a conversation about the future, it was super heavy. We discussed what we would do if I were pregnant and we found out there was a birth defect or if there were some sort of complication where my life was at risk because of the unborn baby.

We were in perfect agreement on both issues. My life and our life as a couple, should always be considered more important than that of the life of our unborn baby. Save me, not the baby. Protect our future, we can always try again.

I was watching a re-run of Scrubs the other day and this issue came up. A pregnant woman had a heart defect and could die if they didn’t deliver the baby RIGHT NOW — about two months early — which of course meant the baby might not make it. The wife was knocked out to prevent stress on her heart, which left the decision up to the husband: Save his wife, or save his baby?

He ended up choosing to save his baby. (And actually his wife ended up pulling through too but hey, it’s a TV show so that’s not really the point.) I have to say, if I’d woken up to find out that my husband chose to save an unborn baby he’d never met, over the wife he promised to spend his life with, I’d have been really pissed off. Guess it’s a good thing my boyfriend and I have already talked about it.

Where do you guys stand?

6 thoughts on “Discuss!

  1. DavidIsGreat says:

    [Heh heh

    It’s a good thing you discuss this before it happens because he now should be clear about where you stand. You also did the right thing by announcing to the Internet what you wanted although it probably shouldn’t have been anonymous. You need TONS of witnesses! I tell everybody what my wife is supposed to do with me. Her hairdresser knows she could be called by a lawyer about pulling the plug. I have a card in my wallet that tells paramedics “LEAVE MY ORGANS ALONE”. My brother has specific instructions that involve fireworks. There will be no Terri Shrivo case with us. All of you know now upon reading this that my kidneys are to be burned with me, just for spite.

    So yeah, witnesses

  2. Happy Pants says:

    [I wanted to say something funny about this one, but I honestly don’t know how. It’s a pretty serious subject. My opinion in general is that it’s my body, and if I’m incapacitated or my life is at risk, do whatever I’ve made it implicitly clear to do. I know you’re supposed to trust your spouse with your life, but I’m too much of a selfish control-freak for that.

    I was actually just catching up on True Blood, and (SEMI-SPOILER ALERT!) when they turned someone into a vampire who’d made it very clear they hated vampires, they were pissed, wrecked everything in the house, and said they would never forgive the people who made that decision for them. I would be that person. If the plug was pulled and I didn’t want it to be, I would come back and haunt the shit out of whoever did it. But I’m not vengeful. Not at all. I have no idea what you’re talking about.

  3. faraday says:

    [I think it’s really easy to speculate on a hypothetical situation….but it’s completely different when you’re actually in it.

  4. AKchic says:

    [I have 4 kids already. If I were to get pregnant again (and survived the telling of family members, since they have decreed any further pregnancies a crime punishable by death) and it were a life-or-death between me and the newest kid – well, sorry, but that’s what reincarnation is for. The child’s soul will get another chance at life. I have to be here for my existing children.

  5. karlos says:

    [I’ve never looked at Scrubs like that before. My mind has just been blown, which is quite fitting for a site where we discuss relationships I guess.

  6. resullins says:

    [I think that’s an impossible question to answer until you’re in the moment. Yes, you made an agreement, yes, he agreed to spend the rest of his life with you… but this is your CHILD. When he’s faced with the option of killing his child, the answer isn’t always so clear. There is no logic, there is no reasoning, there is only the massive influx of emotions that he will never have felt before, because you can’t until you have a kid.

    I get what you’re saying… that you can always try again, if you’re still alive… but it’s still not like saying “take the gun, leave the salami.” It’s not an easy question or decision, on anyone’s part!

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s