Am I being insecure?

I have been dating a guy for a couple months now. We are now sexually involved as well. I have shared with him that I find women attractive sexually, though I do consider myself straight. The other day he shared a picture with me. It was a picture of four girls who looked like models and he asked me what I thought of them. I really didn’t know how to take it! I was upset and I felt insecure, so I kind of just ran out. How would you take this? How would you react? I mean, I know I told him I find girls atttractive, but I really didn’t expect us to be looking at pictures of hot women together!

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4 thoughts on “Am I being insecure?

  1. karlos says:

    [I was once told that female sexuality is kind of fluid, either that or they’re more upfront about what they find attractive. I forget, the second I heard it, naked pillow fights entered my mind.

    But like Erica said you mentioned it and failed to elborate. Your partner probably assumed that it meant that you two could enjoy naked ladies together, you should probably tell him that’s not the case.

    Or, failing that, get a picture of some naked dudes and ask him what he thinks. I’d say give him a taste of his own medicine, but when naked dudes are in the preceding sentence, the word taste shouldn’t be present.

  2. MargieCharles says:

    [It’s really hard to know what he was thinking. Did he ask the question very pointedly, or did he just ask it like he was wondering your opinion? He could be trying to groom you for a threesome, he could be trying to gauge whether other women are a threat to him, or he could have just wanted to show you a picture of some hot girls.

    Ask him what he was trying to get at. There’s no reason to make this some super serious talk, but just have a lighthearted conversation with him. It’ll give you a chance to clarify what you meant by your previous statement, and you can also lay down some boundaries and tell him what you are and are not comfortable with.

  3. EricaSwagger says:

    [I’m not sure what you’re insecure about.

    You did bring this on yourself by telling him you were attracted to women. He probably thought “awesome, so I don’t have to hide my desire to look at hot girls!” He may have even thought it would be a fun thing for the two of you to do together. He may have even thought “score, I’ll probably be able to have a threesome.”

    Who knows.

    What I do know is that you opened up to him by telling him you think women are sexually attractive, and by showing you the photo and asking you what you thought, he was trying to open up to you, too. To bring out that part of you that you had shared, and for the two of you to connect over it.

    I don’t think there’s anything to be embarrassed or insecure about at all. If you don’t want to look at naked women with him, all you have to say is “When I said I was attracted to females sexually, I didn’t mean much by it. I just can acknowledge when women are beautiful, I didn’t want it to turn into us watching porn together.”

    It might be awkward to bring it up, but it’ll be more awkward if you don’t and he keeps pushing pictures of naked women at you to critique. Just talk to him.

  4. DavidIsGreat says:

    [There’s nothing wrong with you. You find someone attractive but don’t want to ogle photos or whatever. I think Ben Affleck is a handsome guy. I don’t want to see his penis. You know what I mean?

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