“Another girl is constantly in my thoughts”

It’s been 6 years, 3 of which was falling in love with my fiancee, since we dated. It didn’t end poorly, and she was my first love. I can’t learn how to not think about her. She constantly appears in dreams and randomly pops up in mind when/ if I see red hair. I love my fiancee, she’s my better half and couldn’t be a better person or future mother.

It doesn’t change my random thoughts though and they’re starting to be painful. I should’ve told my fiancee about these thoughts long ago but now it’ll destroy her. I’m really not sure what’s going on in my head about it all. I want so bad to commit to my future but I literally cannot stop thoughts of a relationship from high school over 6 years ago. Do I just carry this forever?

“He has more of a relationship with his ex than with me”

My fiancé has this ex whom he has two kids with, and no matter how horrible she is to him it’s like he can’t leave her alone.

He tells her first about things in his life where I get to find out later. He’s quick to jump and run for whatever she wants and needs. He claims he isn’t in love with her and he doesn’t want to be with her. Says he loves me and wants a future with me, but he won’t let her go…it’s an everyday battle. She always comes first no matter what. I’ve said how it bothers me and he just tells me I’m being insecure. So am I just being insecure?

“My fiancee wants me to leave my job and move”

My fiancée has been a teacher for 10 years now and is really frustrated because she feels stagnant in her career. She thinks she hasn’t advanced because she’s followed me around – first to a two-year MBA program where she taught at two different schools and now to a new city where I got a new job.

She really doesn’t enjoy this city and she’s had to start over at a new school again. She sees me take on a leadership role at my company and told me today that she resents it because she feels she can’t get traction anywhere, since she has to start over each year. Continue reading

“I’m depressed with my home situation”

I am 30 and I have been with my girlfriend who’s 26, for 7 years and we are engaged. We have a 4 year old chocolate labrador and live with my girlfriend’s brother and their mum in her house.

It is very stressful living here, my girlfriend’s mum is very opinionated and suffers from mental instability. She is on antidepressants and is very hot and cold with her emotions. My girlfriend is studying animal conservation at University and her brother works part time at a farm. Their mum works at a school full time. I work full time as a security manager. I know this is all over the place but it’s hard to think what I want to say so thanks for bearing with me.

There are constant arguments over all sorts of things. I argue with my girlfriend’s mum, which I hate, as I’m living under her roof so it feels majorly awkward. My girlfriend’s brother hardly works any hours so gets hardly any money which makes matters worse as he doesn’t pay his way at all. My girlfriend’s mum wants my girlfriend and I to pay for his share of bills,  but I think it’s unfair as he makes no effort to get a full time job. He’s very picky about where he will work. We can’t move out because I am in some debt and can’t afford to rent a house big enough for the 2 of us and our dog.  My girlfriend only gets student loan money which is soon to stop as she graduates this year so she can’t pay towards it.

I get massively depressed and sometimes feel like I need to leave the situation, break off the engagement and get out, but I can’t. We have been together through a lot and I love my girlfriend too much to quit on her. I worry that she will never find a job and will just end up working a crap job and we won’t be able to afford to move out. We want to start our life together and have a family but it really feels like it will never happen. What shall I do?