“I’m in love with a felon”

I’ve fallen madly in love with a man who served 26.5 years in prison for a murder (gang related) he committed when he was 19. The ironic thing is I was dating him when this happened. He pursued me for years before I would take him serious. He was trying to quit the gang life for himself and me.

I wrote him for a year and moved on with my life. Decades later he paroled and found me. He said he never stopped looking for me and always thought of how things could have played out so differently if he wasn’t such a fool as a kid. When we are together it’s like we are teenagers again. Continue reading

“My boyfriend freaks out and cries all the time”

I was planning on letting my relationship with my boyfriend (who has anxiety) fizzle out when he goes to uni to avoid as much upset as possible. However, he’s started to mention taking a gap year, which I think is to stay with me, but, I would still break up with him. I don’t feel like relationships are suited for me at this point in my life. I feel way too claustrophobic.

I find it really difficult talking to him about these things because he breaks into tears a lot, and freaks out, whereas, I feel I’m too relaxed, and it makes me feel like a horrible person. Continue reading

“Romantic conundrum”

I’m in a 4 years long relationship with a sweet man who is 4 years younger than me (I’m 28 and he’s 24) but recently, we’ve made new friends, particularly this one guy. I get along famously with him and my boyfriend is ok with it as he’s used to me having male friends (if he wasn’t I don’t think the relationship would have lasted this long) but a few days ago, I started realizing that I care a little too much over my new friend
This new friend is 3 years older than me and, if I’m to be honest, lately the age difference with my boyfriend began bothering me and I’ve been turning more flirtatious with this friend and the more this happens, the more I think about him.
I care for my boyfriend, I always thought we’d spend the several years together (I’m a cynical person so for me to think that most relationships endure through a lifetime it’s difficult, to me it seems like a 1 in a 1000 kind of thing) but this friend causing my resolve to weaver.
The worst part is that I’m afraid of letting my boyfriend go since he’s very unstable emotionally: He’s been a very lonely person all his life and I’m his first girlfriend, he’s absolutely devoted to me, as I was I till now, so I’m afraid of the consequences of me breaking the relationship.
Part of me is scared of what may happen to him if my feelings for this friend grow stronger, but the other just wants to take the leap and I don’t know what to do.

She gives just enough to keep me giving my all

I’ve been dating a lady for 7 months now. We had the initial honeymoon phase for 8/9 weeks. During that same time, she experienced a lot of change in her life other than me. Her work of 14 years became overwhelming and unrewarding forcing her to look for another job. Additionally, her son is graduating HS this year and will move away to college. As a result of all this “change” she admittedly began to withdraw, or as she put it “hit the brakes hard on purpose”. My response was to be gentle and empathetic by just chilling and being there for her. I didn’t push her to make a choice. Since then, we have been on a roller coaster, one week we are close and engaged in our relationship and the next, I hardly even know she’s interested. Unfortunately it’s been the latter more recently. She gives just enough of herself to me to keep me giving 100% of myself to her. I’m at the point where I need more if I’m to continue our relationship, not a lot more but certainly enough to know this is something she wants to pursue. Right now, I just really cannot tell. I’m torn because I know she cannot be expected to read my mind, but I do have a difficult time with addressing this. To me, if her heart were really into our relationship, she would have the desire to be close. Bringing this to her attention will either cause her to engage more or just go our separate ways. If she wants to stay in the relationship, how will I know it’s because she that’s what is in her heart rather than appeasing me to keep me here doing all the things that I do for her, supporting her emotionally and putting forth the effort to make her happy.