“My parents have loud sex and I can’t sleep”

I’m 13 and I have been having a problem. For the past couple nights my parents have had very loud sex. My room is right next to theirs. One might say this isn’t too bad however as someone who is asexual and extremely prone to anxiety, this has been making it almost impossible for me to get sleep (which is really crappy because I have a friend coming over soon).

I think last night really messed with me because my mom and emotionally unstable dad had been fighting a lot the past week. I had literally worried he had killed her, as when ten minutes earlier she had stormed out of the house with no explanation and then when they came back my dad said “Calm down, [mom name]”. Not only was there the extreme anxiety and fear of my dad but on top of that them having sex mad me extremely anxious as well. But now it’s tonight, and despite they fact they know I not only like to stay up playing video games and that it takes me around an hour or two to fall asleep because of insomnia, they have sex, just as loudly, like five minutes after saying we’re going to bed. WTF? I can’t sleep because of you two! I know it means they’re in a healthy relationship or whatever but it needs to stop, I’ve gotten really sick before from sleep depravation, I’m not letting it happen again.

TLDR my parents have loud sex and it makes me anxious and heightens my depression. How do I confront them about it?

6 thoughts on ““My parents have loud sex and I can’t sleep”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Well first off you need to turn off the video games at least a hour before you have to sleep as several studies have shown that video games cause insomnia, which in turn causes depression and anxiety. If you feel that you have such bad symptoms then you should talk to them so you can get help from a licensed psychiatrist. (Who will also tell you to knock off the screen time.) Television is just as bad.

    Exercise will help exhaust you and a good set of sound proof headphones possibly with white noise you can listen to. You can tell your parents that you can hear them as well in a neutral setting as kindly as possible that you can hear them at night. They will try to be quieter. Also, try moving your stuff around so the bed is closest to the wall away from your folks.

    • Anonymous says:

      I agree with everyone else here. As someone just above your age and is dealing with this now, I can say that it definitely isn’t fair. I can barely even go to bed now without crying and/or waking up constantly every night. If anyone is reading this now and is looking for help — please, please tell your parent(s). Don’t make the same mistake I did.

  2. Sara says:

    I’m 13 years old myself and have the exact same problem. It’s disgusting for me to hear it at night. I want to scream out “SHUT UP” buttt I don’t want to embarrass them.

  3. Pure Excellence says:

    Yeah, that isn’t very considerate or thoughtful on your parent’s part, especially given your tender age. Explain to them that you can hear them and it’s really disturbing you. If they’re good parents, they’ll keep it down from thereon. If they aren’t, they’ll ignore to ignore your pleas and continue to make a racket, in which case you have every right to be mad at them. As a fellow resident of the household, you have the right to peace.

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