4 years ago when I was about 13 I had an Xbox 360 “squad” of a couple of people from different parts of England. I had two main/best friends in the squad who were Joe and Andy (names changed because I am paranoid). They lived in the same area as each other but about 18 miles away, and I always really liked Joe. Everything down to his laugh and his jokes made me want to hug him. Back then he felt the same. After I got kicked out of school and started using drugs, I stopped talking to him. He was also kicked out of school and started using drugs but I didn’t even know until recently. We have spoken occasionally over the internet about random pointless stuff, but it is clear to see that we have both changed. We both still smoke weed and drink but we don’t do any other things.
Recently I was talking to him, and got over-whelmed in old feelings and one thing lead to another and we ended up sexting and sending pictures over Snapchat. After that I asked him if he wanted to meet me at some point as we are older now and both earning money and he said yeah, but the more we speak the more he is going cold and blunt, and he seems like he’s not enjoying the conversation. I regret spontaneously having that sexting session with him, but I don’t know if he knows. It’s aching my heart so much, I really, really like him and have done for years.
If anyone could offer any advice on what to do or maybe even if you have been the ‘Joe’ in a similar situation, tell me what your thoughts were? I am struggling to figure out what he wants.