“My old crush is interfering with my growing feelings for a close male friend”

I think I’m beginning to develop feelings for a close male friend of mine. But recently, my previous crush has gotten a new girlfriend, which has caused my heart to twist.

Here’s some backstory:

My old crush and I were making steps to begin a romantic relationship, but it was decided in the end we would remain friends. How this happened was one night, I was voicing to my bff the concern of my crush not liking me anymore. She immediately went to message him to find out if he did despite my protest. He responded and all in all, the conclusion was we remain friends (which I agreed with then and still do to this day).

But then, he had the audacity to say “you can let her read this” instead of actually messaging me about it. Two weeks later, he indirectly finalized it by talking about how he and his buddy thought some chick was cute and that his friend liked her.

Teasingly, I asked him if it was a rivalry, to which responded, “No, I just think she’s cute. I don’t want to be chained down to anyone.” Which irked me beyond belief.

And I sit here now, salty out the wazoo as I stare at a pic of his new girlfriend and remember those words. (I have nothing against his girlfriend, by the way. She’s super sweet and nice. xD)

This makes me feel like I never completely got over my previous crush, and I feel very conflicted. Because I want to be over him, and I don’t want him as an obstacle in my growing feelings for my close male friend, as it’s not fair to him for me to eventually admit to him my feelings, but still be hung up over my previous crush. My mind keeps whirling with “woulda, shoulda, coulda.”

Any advice?

2 thoughts on ““My old crush is interfering with my growing feelings for a close male friend”

  1. Anonymous says:

    If I’m honest, I don’t think you should worry too much about your old crush. Having said that, though, I’d say you should just slow down a bit. There’s no rush. Wait until you’re absolutely certain you like this guy before you try to ask him out.
    I think you’re letting your ex-crush’s proverbial shadow hang over you. If you want to get his shadow out of the way, do what I call the ‘Smelly Feet’ technique. Focus on one aspect of your old crush that you don’t like – as you can tell, the name for this trick came from an ex’s smelly feet. Pick anything, no matter how big or small, and focus on it. After a while, your old crush will begin to lose his luster.

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