My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months, and I recently moved in with him 4 months ago. What I didn’t know until after, was how angry he gets. We will fight, and recently we have been fighting at least once a week about my personality and attitude problem.
Every time he gets mad about something, he will try to reason it out with me and tells me that I have an attitude problem and that I’m selfish with my own thoughts and actions when I don’t conform to his demands. He has thrown glass cups and whiskey glasses at the wall, punched walls, and kicked down chairs out of his frustration and anger towards something I caused.
I’m trying to stay as objective as I can because I know he’s naturally an angry person and I don’t want to make him seem like the bad guy in all of this. During our good times, things are really good. Happiest I have ever been. But during our bad times, I have never felt more suicidal and depressed. I have resorted to crying spells, my anxiety has gone through the roof, and I just never know what to do when he’s in a yelling spree or anger spree. I feel I am slowly losing myself because I don’t know what to do – and I feel like I have to yell back or be angry back for him to even listen to me. He said that my crying is meaningless and has lost its vigor because I do it so much. Even my “sorry’s” have lost their meaning to him and will not accept any apology I give him because he thinks they are fake.
After things diffuse, we talk and say that things will get better after fighting, but they always seem to either stay stagnant or worse. I don’t know what to do. Could you please help me in terms of how to diffuse situations during an argument with an angry person? I feel like I’m up against a wall in terms of making the situation better and I do not want to give up on this relationship.