“Will I be okay seeing my husband with another girl?”

I don’t know how to put this … I have a very REAL fantasy of using a strap-on. I am a woman.
My husband and I do anal regularly, but now I feel I want to return the favor. He is very taken aback by this fantasy of mine. I just can’t shake the feeling though. It turns me on immensely! I think about it very regularly.

When my husband met me, I was dating a woman. The sex was average (no toys). So I’ve asked my husband if he’d be willing to let me do it to him, as I was willing to try — and now enjoy — anal for him.

I have told him that I am willing to get a third party (a girl) in. Understandably, he asked if he could do the same to this girl. This is all in talks, and he says he really needs to sit down and think about all of this before he decides anything. I’m just worried about how I’d react to seeing him with another girl. I know I’d love to do her, but would I be okay watching my husband do her?

What do I do? Do I ask for a safe word, so that when I feel too uncomfortable, we can stop? Has anyone else gone through this and could help me?

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3 thoughts on ““Will I be okay seeing my husband with another girl?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Communicate down to intricate details with all parties and agree to a safe word. You might also want to get in writing that she won’t sue you if something goes wrong. You need to look up rules for swinging and S&M.

    Usually a traffic light makes a good safe word device like green for good, yellow for slow down and red for stop altogether.

    Also, be aware that you may never find a woman to try this with and may need to look at couples. They call women that are interested in being a third a “unicorn” for obvious reasons, aka it’s super hard to find one. More men are interested in being a third than anything.

  2. Dave says:

    BTDT. Had a three-some with a bisexual girlfriend a long time ago. It was her idea. To be honest, I was conflicted about it, when she first brought up the subject. It’s hard enough to keep a relationship healthy without bringing another individual into it. If you have any doubts at all going in, then forget it…

    But if you want to go forward, then the three of you need to discuss it (as a group) and the other woman needs to agree that there is no emotional attachment to either one of you, that it is just sex. The same goes for you and your husband. You both need to agree upfront that there will be no emotional attachment involved…that it is just sex.

    You also need to be very specific (beforehand) about what is allowed and what is not. For example, my girlfriend said it would be OK if I had mutual oral sex (like 69) with the other girl, but I was NOT allowed to kiss the other girl on the lips. I thought that was rather strange, so I asked my girlfriend why I couldn’t kiss the other girl. She explained to me that a kiss (lip to lip) was very personal, so she would feel strange seeing me kiss another girl. But then, eating her out was OK? Still don’t quite understand that, but anyway…
    THAT is the kind of detail you three need to discuss before any clothes come off…

    On a side note…
    I have had more than one girlfriend who really REALLY enjoys anal sex. In fact, one of them would regularly orgasm that way. (intense orgasms)
    But a guy who is not gay who you are asking to ummm….WHAT?!?!?!?
    Aside from the other girl issue, I don’t expect your husband to ever enjoy that particular activity with you. If he’s totally straight, that is…

    (NO!!!)

  3. Leona says:

    I love to watch my husband have sex with other women. It is even better how much he wants me after. I am not gonna lie this has went badly for us before. We worked through it because we are in love. However, I love this as much as he does. So, I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. He also likes to chat sexually with other women online. That also turns me on!!! I don’t get involved in the conversation. Although, I do love to watch it. We are lucky that we found each other. We both are very sexual beings; and have the same twisted minds. I believe the key is to be 100% open and honest.

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