I’ve been with my fiancé for over 4 years. In the first year of our relationship, he went behind my back with his ex. He also cheated on me with her again (and briefly left me for her) in the winter of 2015 and February 2016. He also cheated on me with and left me for a girl he worked with a couple of years ago for a month. However, we have been together for the majority of the last 4 1/2 years.
I cut him off last year, because I had had enough and didn’t want to be his backup or just-in-case anymore. He would never open up to me. He was emotionally abusive and manipulative and always kept me hanging on while still talking to other girls.
However, in March I miscarried our baby. I was an emotional wreck. He came to be with me and stayed to help me and seemed to have become this whole other person. Suddenly he was vulnerable with me. He was sweet and loving and asked me to give him a chance. And I did.
Things in our relationship over the past 10 months have been really good for the most part. We barely fight. He has been faithful. He communicates better usually. However, I have been dealing with health issues. Migraines. Minerres disease, PTSD, depression, TMJ, and anxiety as well as hormonal imbalance caused by PCOS. And I am starting to feel like it’s pushing him back to the way things used to be.
These other life stresses seem to have him tired more. And less likely to communicate or open up. We have sex less often. I feel like I’m always the one who initiates. And when I try to talk to him about it, he gets frustrated with me and doesn’t want to talk about it. I don’t think he’s cheating again. He doesn’t seem to be hiding anything really. He just feels distant and closed off and angry. He told me he’s on edge and doesn’t know why. And I’m scared I’m the problem … 😦
2 thoughts on ““I’m scared my health problems are pushing him away””
That’s a lot to deal with and medical issues too, for you both that is. Maybe you need to be on your own for a while so you both can figure out what you honestly need. I would start with counseling.
Obviously consult your doctor FIRST before for the rest of this advice:
I lost 50 pounds on a low carb diet and that helped me with a lot of my PCOS issues. Exercise did too. Start by just walking 10 minutes and then up that however you feel necessary. Yoga and swimming were fantastic low impact exercises that will help you mentally too. Of course depression can’t always be cured with exercise. You may need to try several medications.
For migraines I use 4 over the counter ibuprofen and a 20-30 minute nap and a hot shower.
You need to stand up for yourself. You are holding on to him because he is a constant in your life. You need to find someone that will love you, for you. Not for a just-in-case. It will make you happier and mentally healthier.