I am a freshman in college right now. My college is about an hour-and-a-half away from home. I had to work really hard to convince my parents to let me go to that college. I come home every other week. My mom really wants me to transfer to a college that is closer to home. I don’t really want to but, everyone keeps telling me that my mom is having a really hard time adjusting to me being out of the house. I really want to stay at the school that I am at but, I don’t know what to do.
4 thoughts on ““My mom is having a hard time with me being away at college””
Keep doing what you are doing at the school that you are at and stop letting people guilt you into doing otherwise. Your mom is going to have to adjust to empty nest syndrome and you can’t help her by going back home. It’s tough on all parents, but now she’s going to have to meet new people, volunteer, get new hobbies and so on. If you move back now she’s not going to do that and she needs to.
It’s like a bandaid. For less pain in the long run you rip that sucker off. If you pull it off slowly it only hurts longer.
I assume you picked this college because it was the right place for you and your future (and not b/c it’s 90 mins away). Your college degree will be a big part of your career and your life. Your mom has got to know that. Absent health issues with your mom, it’s not fair to you to relocate to a school that isn’t as good for you but is closer to your mom.
You can’t live your life for no one but you. Do what makes you happy once you start compromising on your happiness it becomes a habit. Don’t compromise yourself for someone else.
I know it can be hard to enjoy and create your own life when your family at home can’t seem to get over the fact that you’re not around all the time anymore. But you can’t put your life on hold for the sake of other people. I’m sure your mom loves you so much, and over time she will come to realize that what is best for you is for you to go out and fulfill your own dreams, and she will eventually find her new normal.
Also, you are still a freshman in college. It takes TIME for parents to adjust. I think I was halfway through my sophomore year before my mom really got used to the idea that I wasn’t living at home anymore.
For the record, I am currently a senior in college, an only child with a single mom. So I totally get it. It’s hard to feel like you are the source of your parents pain. But I guarantee you time will make it better, and you and your mom BOTH will eventually regret it if you end up transferring just for comforts sake.