“I’m thinking of flying across the country to see a my favorite band”

I am obsessed with this Aussie band, and they’re currently touring the US. I saw them last week in Boston, and it was a great night. I had a lot of fun, but it didn’t go exactly the way I thought it would. We got really drunk, missed part of the set, and although I got to meet some of the band members, I really had my heart set on meeting the singer.

My friend, with the best of intentions, tried to make that happen, though in a pretty explicit manner. I still cringe at how she behaved. I feel like the impression we left was unsatisfactory, and I can’t stop thinking about how differently I wish everything had played out. You know, much more like what I had envisioned in my head.

They play in San Diego in a couple of weeks, and I am so tempted to see them play their last show. I live on the east coast, so I feel like it’s a really big deal to fly out to Cali for only a night. In fact, I feel like it’s rather insane, but something is nagging inside of me to be daring, and just do it. I had a dream about it, and it’s what prompted me to consider it. I can technically afford it. I can probably get the time off of work, too. And loads of people do stuff like this, so why not me?

My problem is, I do think it’s crazy. Especially considering that I am seeking some sort of do-over and still have weird expectations. Like I care what these guys, who have played for thousands of fans, think of me? If they even remember me. What if they do and they do think I’m crazy? I wouldn’t blame them. And what if I go to these lengths, and it fails to satisfy my expectations? I know I shouldn’t have any, but I feel such a strong need to make a good and lasting impression. For what I can’t be sure, but it’s consuming me.

I don’t know if I believe in fate, or if I’m trying to convince myself of something that isn’t there, but I feel like there are so many things urging me to do this. Little signs all around me that I have noticed, or maybe I’m looking for them. I feel desperately and unreasonably invested in this idea, and for that reason, I feel too embarrassed to confide in anyone close to me.

So am I being overly irrational here? Should I go and see what happens? I don’t know what would feel worse — regretting not taking the chance, or going and finding that it isn’t at all what I hope it to be.

2 thoughts on ““I’m thinking of flying across the country to see a my favorite band”

  1. Sam says:

    If you truly have the expendable cash and it won’t affect your job/family life, I say go for it. Yes, the expectations you mentioned sound very unreasonable and the odds that it will go exactly like you want are slim, but so what? Stay safe and be responsible and have a fun trip.

  2. therapyinsdcom says:

    Know what? We all idealize famous people sometimes- I agree with Sam that if you don’t have anything that will be negatively impacted go have an adventure. From the sounds of it, you have good insight and recognize that a lot of what you are going for is probably fantasy. If you think you’ll have fun either way why not?

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s