Hi! I’m 17 years old, and I recently have gotten into a relationship with this really great guy, but he is really clingy/needy, meaning he always asks me to “love him” by telling him why I like him or why I’m dating him. He always brings it up. I mostly text him because I can’t really see him in the day besides at school. He said he loved me and when I didn’t immediately say it back, he panicked, so I quickly said it back.
He’s already thinking of our future together, too, and everything is moving way to quickly. He tells me that I’m “the one” and it’s putting so much pressure on me, and it’s only been two months that we’ve been together. Along with my depression and anxiety attacks, I feel emotionally drained with constantly having to reassure him, and not letting myself fall apart. I don’t know what to do anymore.
2 thoughts on ““I’m dating a really clingy guy””
At first, I thought, maybe he just needs some time and he’ll start to feel more comfortable and trust you. But, if he’s not offering you any support in return, it’s just not fair to you. No one should have to deal with that kind of pressure to make someone else happy, especially when you struggle to feel happy yourself.
I had a relationship in college where I had to constantly reassure the guy I was with and pretend to be happy all the time just to make him believe he was enough for me. Trust me, it’s not worth it.
I’m not sure what you think is so great about him, but he sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. As soon as you can’t keep up with his “needs” it’s going to escalate. It sounds like it could easily turn into a possibly manipulative/emotionally abusive relationship where he keeps you trapped by making you believe he needs you so badly, makes you feel bad for not loving him enough, yet never gives back. (He wouldn’t do it intentionally to hurt you, of course, but is sounds like he’s got some issues.)
I’d end it now. Or at least tell him he needs to back off significantly, as you’ve only been together two months. And if he can’t handle that…I mean…do you want to have to baby him forever?
What Natalie said. It sounds like you have enough to deal with when it comes to your own emotional health. You don’t need to be responsible for someone else’s, too.