“My dad and his girlfriend have become overbearing parents”

Okay, so I live at home with my dad. He hates me, doesn’t trust me, calls me names on a daily basis, etc. He has a girlfriend who is very strict with her kids as well, and she gives my dad advice on “how to fix me.”

She taught him how to put parental restrictions on my phone (which means I can’t FaceTime, delete apps, download apps, and I have no camera or safari). The current app that I have on my phone is a game that I have replayed numerous times and is about two years old. I have no social media, and my father says I cannot be trusted enough to get it back. My dad’s girlfriend also told my dad that I was giving her the cold shoulder and giving her dirty looks behind my dad’s back (which I DID NOT do), and I have gotten into even more trouble because of that.

3 thoughts on ““My dad and his girlfriend have become overbearing parents”

  1. therapyinsdcom says:

    You don’t say your age here, and so I’m going to assume you are under 18? You said that your Dad hates you and calls you names, so first and foremost if you have been physically/verbally abused, or if you are being denied food, sleep or education please let someone know.

    OK- if you answered no to the above questions let’s get down to it. Again, assuming you are between the ages of 12-18 you’re at a time in your life where it is totally normal and healthy to want freedom from your parents and push boundaries as well. If you and your Dad weren’t at least irritated with each other around 25-50 percent of the time I would be a little worried!

    Parents are often scared when their kid’s world expands. Dad may be adjusting to not being in control of his little boy and the fact that you would rather be with your friends than him may sting- making him push back. Furthermore, there’s this darn stigma about adolescents that all of you are troublemakers, sassy and dishonest. In my opinion labeling kids creates the issue that they are most fearful of, but I’ll get off my soapbox now….

    Lastly- each family is complex, so I don’t know your whole story. If your Dad is open to it maybe you two can go speak to a therapist or parenting coach. Worst case scenario, in a few years you will be 18 and you can do whatever you want!

  2. Drew says:

    Therapy nails it.
    If there is ACTUAL abuse (physical or verbal or emotional) then get help.
    But if you’re a teenager then yeah, you’re going think that they are overbearing. That said, I think it is VERYVERY unlikely that your dad actually hates you. It is exceptionally rare that a parent doesn’t completely LOVE their kid.
    You really should try to go to counseling with your dad and possibly even your step-mom. it sounds like there are a LOT of moving parts here that need to be sorted out.

  3. Somebody says:

    This sounds like a very unhealthy home environment and though I don’t know both sides of the story, this sort of emotional & verbal abuse is not ok. I’d suggest getting some help outside of the home for dealing with this until you are able to get out on your own.

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